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2009-12-24T22:14:00.001+08:00

take a look at my new blog address

http://dallaskhl.tumblr.com

well that blog posts will all be much shorter

2009-11-30T17:01:00.001+08:00

its been 5 times since it started
and the results
5 failures
0 success

guess im the one always taking the fall..

2009-11-27T20:03:00.002+08:00

all of a sudden

while stuck in camp alone doing duty

"something" just came to my mind after sometime of being low profile

and now i just cant get my mind off it...

if life can be like mangas/animes/dramas...

2009-11-24T11:04:00.004+08:00

a definition that i find it interesting

people should be doubted.

doubt humans. question them, suspect them, take a good look into their hearts.

doubting people is simply a part of trying to get to know them.

"trust" is a noble act

but is actually giving up trying to understand others.

and that is nothing to do with "trust" but is rather "apathy"

-quote from liar game-

(meaning of apathy:

ap.a.thy

1. absence or suppression of passion, emotion, or excitement.

2. lack of interest in or concern for things that others find moving or exciting)

2009-11-10T22:33:00.000+08:00

today is not a good day for me
everything is not going smoothly
having lots of errors all of a sudden
haix. a time of downturn...
haix =(

2009-11-09T23:18:00.002+08:00

woah its been some time since i last blogged

well the fact is there is nth much things happened that allows me to blog about
ha..

everyday doing the same old cycle. becoming very very routine. so thats how boring my life is now.

well something interesing i found out about myself thru my own records. i just found out that i have records of hypotension (low blood pressure). gee. didnt know that. no wonder sometimes i feel a slight pinch of giddiness if i push myself to hard while running.

well. anw there is nth much happening. lets hope something fun will happen soon

itsbeensolong.
yetistillcantletgo.

2009-10-04T22:25:00.002+08:00

its been some time. and my sprained leg is still feeling pain when i put pressure on it like running and jumping. guess i shld go for a check up on my leg to find out wads wrong. damn.

so how nowadays im living day by day letting it go by with no aims at all. just wasting my time day by day. is there any thing for me to aim and fight for? its just so pointless with nothing that i can aim to achieve or so. how i wish it can be like it use to be. where i have things to aim to. to improve on and to look forward to everyday. so aimless...

anw watched some shows and it just brought to my attention that humans really are complicated. we can do things easily but we at the same time chose not to do it as it is easier. like sometimes just saying a few more words like "please", "thanks", "welcome", "no problem" can show polite-ness and bring on a smile on a person, but we chose not to say it as an easier way to end conversations. and it not as polite and smiles will nvr appear.
also we can be easily contented and be happy. sometimes just small things/gestures/actions can make a person happy, but at the same time we always will try to achieve more to be happier. why cant we sometimes just be contented with what we have? why are we always trying to go higher and have more?

pardon me for this post. as sometimes wad things says in shows can be true. oh wells and i maybe just bored.. and trying to update something on my blog.

apprently im still holding on i don't know why...

2009-09-16T21:52:00.003+08:00

its been quite some time i last remb i sprained my leg seriously. and today i apparently sprained it badly.

well i was going down the stairs, and while trying to avoid some ppl coming up and i missed a step and slipped, and my right leg landed in an awkward position.

following that i hear a "crack" sound popping from right leg. and after that i felt numbness in my leg. and at that moment i knew it. i have sprained my ankle.

yup and i was right. after taking out my boots. my ankle was already swollen and now it has swollen till quite big and having pains while i walk. oh wells. i guess its gonna take some time for it to heal.

and now it feels weird. as my ankle easily feels tight and like it can easily have the "cracking" sound.

hope nothing serious is happening

2009-09-13T22:43:00.002+08:00

ok time to clean up some dust and maybe cobwebs from my blog.
i just notices its near 1 mth since i last blogged. guessed im too lazy and didnt have anything much to blog about too anyways.

been too lazy to blog and end up playing games or watching HK dramas.
oh btw i started to start studying for SAT. but not making any good progress thou. not really studying much as i wanted to. hopefully i can get more motivations.

anw. rite. went to COMEX 2009 yesterday. as usual crowded and packed like sardines. esp its a wkend. didnt really went there and have a look ard. wnt there. straight to creative booth. get my new zen x-fi 2 mp3 player. and im out of there. dont really want to go around squeezing with the other ppl.

after that. headed down to bugis to have a game of gundam senjo no kizuna. for more info of this arcade game. the webby link is below:
http://www.gundam-kizuna.jp/english/index.html
quite an interesting game. but abit ex thou. so card afford to really play alot. only one game. unlike some gundam anime geeks there. having who knows where they get the money from. and camping there for a machine.

after that is back home and start to explore my new mp3.

well thats much about it recently. nth perculiar happening. so explains my out-dated blog.
hope i can be active enough to update more

its been a long time since i met you
been some time i really talk to you
i wonder when can it all happen again...

2009-08-20T23:51:00.003+08:00

i have reached the end of the road.
now lost with no where and no idea to go
why am i so stupid to continue knowing whats at the end with all the pieces i have and guessing it correctly.

i guess the emptiness within me will nvr be filled.
after all. everything, after trying so hard. really ended up only as my wishful thinking.
guess no happy fairy tale ending can ever happen to me.
numb? blocked out? i do not know.

i guess its time for me to fall back into darkness and my old emo self once more.
blocking everything out with a fake mask of smile.

end...
for those who do not understand this feeling and do not know anything at all. pls save ur comments to yourself

jigsaw puzzle pieces falls into place
the picture is out with just a guess
all the best
my blessings...

2009-08-16T00:34:00.003+08:00

something is on my mind right now.
i wonder what im thinking now is true.
if i can just have more clues.
if i can just ask you directly.
it seems alot of things are going in thru my head now.
i wonder if they are true.
if only i can just ask you.
envious...

i just hope that if there is anything i can know
the truth?
so that all knots will be untied...

2009-08-12T19:34:00.000+08:00

blah...

i guess if anything happens i wont be missed by anyone. crap...

2009-08-04T20:19:00.003+08:00

semi- personal post coming up

firstly. a insperational video i came across on facebook. if only i had saw this vid sooner. maybe...
http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/video/video.php?v=103965021495&ref=nf

now maybe i will be happier? never know...

if only i can just talk to you.
if only i can do something to know what is going on.
if only i can just be by your side.
if only i can do such things for you.
if only...

2009-07-31T23:14:00.002+08:00

New english album by Utada Hikaru. one song that really stuck in my head and i find it real nice. below is the song

Utada Hikaru - Apple and Cinnamon
--------------------------------------
Tell me what is on your mind
Help me because I'd like to know
What the hell is going on
Never thought I'd sing this song

Lets not get started with
The he said she said
Sometimes it just doesn't go as planned
Lets not get started with
The he said she said
Sometimes it just doesn't go as planned

Started out so simple and innocent
So simple and innocent
(So simple and innocent)
(So simple and innocent)

Chemistry like apple and cinnamon
Like apple and cinnamon
(Like apple and cinnamon)
(Like apple and cinnamon)

I can't believe that you and me were falling out of love
And everybody used to be so envious of us

Chemistry like apple and cinnamon
What we had was just to good, good to last

Happiness don't last that long
What we had was beautiful

Lets not get started with
The he said she said
Sometimes it just doesn't go as planned

Started out so simple and innocent
So simple and innocent
(So simple and innocent)
(So simple and innocent)

Chemistry like apple and cinnamon
Like apple and cinnamon
(Like apple and cinnamon)
(Like apple and cinnamon)

I can't believe that you and me were falling out of love
And everybody used to be so envious of us

Chemistry like apple and cinnamon
What we had was just to good, good to last

Please don't look at me like that
Please don't look at me, don't look at me like that
You can't look at me like that
Please don't look at me, don't look at me like that

I can't believe that you and me were falling out of love
And everybody used to be so envious of us

Chemistry like apple and cinnamon
What we had was just to good

Started out so simple and innocent
So simple and innocent
(So simple and innocent)
(So simple and innocent)

Chemistry like apple and cinnamon
Like apple and cinnamon
(Like apple and cinnamon)
(Like apple and cinnamon)

I can't believe that you and me were falling out of love
And everybody used to be so envious of us

Chemistry like apple and cinnamon
What we had was just to good, good to last

2009-07-26T19:43:00.002+08:00

somehow it seems like weekend always pass by very fast. and weekdays very slow.
why is it so?
is like a blink of an eye is time for me to go back.

how i wish i can have the control from the show "click" then i can fast forward my current lifestyle away. haix.

getting all moody...

missyaso....

2009-07-19T00:17:00.003+08:00

my 21st bday party at my house was a great success.

thanks to all those that came and attended the party! =))
and thanks for all the presents. well at least i got one oof my wishlist presents. a DSLR camera! haha. Canon 450D EOS. Time for me to experiment with it and play ard with it. haha.

well shall rest up. tired frm all the running ard. thanks once again to all

if only you were here...

2009-07-14T12:10:00.002+08:00

ok im offically sick.
went to the doc today. and it seems i have caught a NORMAL flu. thank goodness for that. coz was scared it will turn out to be h1n1. but its not. phew

had a fever of 38.0 degrees. quite high actually. and was given MC for 6 days. so in other words 1 whole week at home to rest myself up.

well. i guess the lack of sufficent slp has finally taken a toll on my body and immune system. well. time for me to get back some of my rest now.

2009-07-13T10:56:00.000+08:00

Haha. Been some time since i last updated my blog. Was too busy playing with my ps3 and reading online mangas and was lazy to update. Haha
Anw can start counting down to one of a happening event this week. Haha. 6 more days. Wheee.
Somehow the new iphone 3gs is tempting me to buy it. Haha. If only i can get it as my present. Wahaha. *evil grin*
Besides this nothing much happened lately. Feeling quite uncomfortable now. Sense that im falling sick soon. Sensing a fever coming up. Feeling damn warm internally and sorethroat. Crap. Juz hope is nothing serious

2009-06-26T08:10:00.001+08:00

finally im back.
3 weeks out of singapore. really miss home. and now im finally back!
well. been quite an experience trip.

well now tats is finally over. next thing that i will look forward to will be my very own 21th bday, which is juz round the corner. however still in the process of how to celebrate.
as for bday presents. hmmm. cant really think of much for now below are just some suggestions. haha

*some quite impossible bday presnts*
- a DSLR camera
- a HD tv (lolx)
- a nitendo DS (this is quite a random one i suddenly think of which i dont really have high desire to have)
- an iphone (another random one. but i dont mind having one if really have. ha)
- a ps3 game? (yet another random)

more or less just some random things that i thought of. overall is the thoughts that counts. haha
now is time for me to have some rest.

well i do have an ultimate bday present that i wish for.
but shall not say

2009-06-23T20:48:00.000+08:00

Finally manage to get a quick use of the net
Will be back home soon. In like another 3 more days and will touch down at ard 7+am. Cant wait to go home. Miss my bed and my room
Well hope to see everyone soon!

2009-06-05T17:14:00.001+08:00

off to brunei soon..
back on 26th which is 3wks. wish me all the best.

gonna miss lots of things and you

2009-05-31T20:01:00.002+08:00

people have told me many different things
i wish to follow what they say and im reall trying to
however everything is just not falling into place
i am really reaching my limit
i am really scared that im losing it soon. losing my sanity
i am scared now...

2009-05-27T21:22:00.000+08:00

Give me a box...
Give me a small room where i can be alone and isolate myself...
Feeling all stressed up...
If only i have a small room to myself where i can de-stress by letting my tears flow for abit...

2009-05-24T20:01:00.003+08:00

quick summary of my week...

Outfield from tues to thur - no comments about it
Watched Distant Worlds: Music from Final Fantasy orchestra concert at esplanade yesterday - Truely Awsome
Bought my long awaited PS3 yesterday - finally burden is gone
well thats a short and quick summary of my week

not to mention been feeling quite down this week due to some incident(s)
well i donno wad i shld say about it
all i know is i hope i can recover both mentally and physically..

Oh and not to mention my uni applications are all rejected again...

some how sometimes i just feel like talking abt things to someone.
but somehow i just cant find anyone that can allow me to do this
it just seems that every phase of my life i have a period where things just starts to bottle up
it seems that i tried. but yet it seems i didnt
now i have no idea which path to take
i guess im tired once more after all these tries...
how i wish im able to share my bottled thoughts...

2009-05-15T21:37:00.002+08:00

not a good week for me...
actually is juz tiring week for me.
didnt really have much rest this week. thus i think is the cause of my heat exhaustion today morning.

having a heat exhaustion is no fun at all. felt totally energy-less. and all my limbs were all numb and have totally no energy to do anything. not even stand up. oh not to mention. i felt hot and cold not stop. its like im feeling hot. the next min im feeling cold. the next min im feeling hot again. the experience totally sucks.

well had 2 bags of IV drips. felt much better after that. so i guess everything is fine now.

2009-05-10T20:38:00.003+08:00

David Archuleta - Crush
--------------------------

I hung up the phone tonight
Something happened for the first time
Deep inside it was a rush, what a rush

Cause the possibility
That you would ever feel the same way
About me, just too much, just too much

Why do I keep running from the truth?
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized
And I just got to know

Do you ever think when you're all alone
All that we can be, where this thing can go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it really just another crush?

Do you catch a breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
Cause I've tried and tried to walk away
But I know this crush ain't going away-ay-ay
Going away-ay-ay

Has it ever crossed your mind
When we're hanging, spending time girl?
Are we just friends? Is there more? Is there more?

See it's a chance we've gotta take
Cause I believe that we can make this into
Something that will last, last forever, forever!

Do you ever think when you're all alone
All that we could be, where this thing could go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it really just another crush?

Do you catch a breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
Cause I've tried and tried to walk away
But I know this crush ain't going away-ay-ay
Going away-ay-ay

Why do I keep running from the truth?
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized
And I just got to know

Do you ever think when you're all alone
All that we could be, where this thing could go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it really just another crush?

Do you catch a breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
Cause I've tried and tried to walk away
But I know this crush ain't going away-ay-ay
This crush ain't going away-ay-ay

Going away
Going away-ay-ay
Going away-ay-ay

nice song. think this song was like out for quite some time. only now i manage to find it. as the pass few times when i heard it. either i forgot the song title or forgot to search for it. ha

HAPPY MOTHERS' DAY to all mom out there
esp to my very own mom =))

2009-05-09T11:04:00.003+08:00

somehow this week after booking out. i feel quite emo for wad reason i dont know. is it stress im feeling now?

it feels that im invisible and whether im around or not is not important at all. to the extent where even if im to juz walk away no one will even notice at all. and in the end be forgotten. it just seems that only when im needed to help do something where i will juz pop back up in ppl mind and i will not be invisible. However rite after the thing is done. *poof* im inivisble again for who knows how long again before im needed.
all these juz seem to show how insignificant i am and how unimportant i am to everyone. well i donno. all these juz feel so de javu. like being all alone once again with no one around me. and all the things i did are all back to square one...

random...

somehowsometimesireallywishtotalktoyou
howeveritjuzseemsicantevenifitried
juzwhenitfeelsdifferent
everythingisnowbacktohowitwasbefore
iguessimjustnotasclose
ifonlyicanjustsaythisout...

2009-05-03T10:46:00.001+08:00

another long weekend for me due to labour day. whee. haha. but somehow this long weekend seem to go past very fast. haix. and next thing i know i gotta go back again.

well anw didnt really do much during this weekend expect for going out. haha did nothing much too.

well wnt for supper juz now at katong HK cafe and did something interesting. and you can see from the photo below. haha

i believe many of u have see this trick b4 of the dollar note "smiling" but why am i emphazing on this photo. is all due to the fact that i used my camera phone face detection and smile shutter function and to our surprise it recognise it as a smile and *snap* off goes my camera. haha. well i guess that the most interesting thing happened to me this week.

well. not i shall go emo till my time is up to go back....

wonder when?
go out?

2009-04-17T19:21:00.002+08:00

finally after so long. i manage to finally have a long wkend and relax myself.
after having my long wkends to be interrupted by godzillion guard duties. finally for once this week i do not have any duties. woo hoo!

well. shall really take this time to rest up as the following month i will be sure i will be damn shag every week as i will have outfields every single week till i go Brunei (more outfields) for training. well hope everything will be ok for me

i start to wonder is it me to cause it?
why do i ask?
cause im scared of history repeating itself once more

2009-04-12T10:18:00.002+08:00

been a while since i last posted here. been busy and dont really have much time to update. heh heh

well past month had been nothing much expect for lots of physical trainings. been tiring me out recently. thus making me abit lazy to update too. heh

well. things wont be better anytime soon. with all the out fields coming out. guess i will be even more tired in future. heh

but well shall take things one step at a time. come to think of it in 2 mths time it will be 1 yr since i enlisted into army. well. time seem to pass fast. but yet slow. oh wells .juz hope everything for the better.

wish you to get well soon
and all the best for your studies!
go out soon!

2009-03-14T23:01:00.000+08:00

Seriously this week had been a long and tiring week for me. Doing 3 physical trainings everyday. Im all shagged out now. And not to mentioned the doc said i had over strained my left calf muscle. Thus explains the pain i feel half way thru the week
Next week the whole cycle will repeat again. Haix =(

2009-03-06T23:55:00.003+08:00

finally a long wkend for me. gonna do some resting up and prepare for certain things next week.nothing to say. all except that the rashes i suspected last wk was wrong. those were sand flies bite all over me. got cream to apply. seen improvments but still itces madly frm time to time. legs are more or less recovered. so left the itch to get rid off. blah...

The fact is that i still have feelings towards you
who am i bluffing when i say all that...
and thats so it hurts...

2009-03-01T20:30:00.004+08:00

argh. not a good week for me this week...

firstly only manage to book out today at 6am due to the det live firing yest and only got 2hr of slp. thats not all. after the live firing and is like an out-field kind now i got some things like rashes all over my right leg and the right side of my back. and the itch is juz damn irritating and uncomfortable. argh! =(

if u think thats all. theres more. on my fri jump. my first jump was alright. but not the same for my 2nd one. my 2nd jump i landed on the runway of the airstrip and due to the strong wind i landing on my butt and taking majority of the impact. and now theres pain from sitting and walking and oso due to the akaward landing. i oso strained my left thigh. haix

all these add tgt and is super uncomfortable. haix i juz hope the rashes things can juz clear fast

somehow i can guess but,
somehow i just still cant let go,
somehow i think im just stupid
somehow i think im just dumb
somehow i miss you
somehow i still...

2009-02-24T21:17:00.000+08:00

Having running nose, signus, sneezing, coughing and headache all coming together feels like crap. Adding on to it training under rain crawling ard on wet grass. Whole uniform wet and damp brings it to the next level. Just hope that i will not feel worse tml.

2009-02-23T09:15:00.000+08:00

Haha how bored can i be... Currently watching the 81st oscars awards in guard room and blogging haha.
Cool tough fight between slumdog millionair and the curious case of benjimine buttons. Shall watch the latter soon

2009-02-14T23:59:00.001+08:00

yet another lonely year of valentine's day. haha. it juz feels different on tis special occasion and im in army. haha. maybe is juz me
wonder when will be the time when i will not celebrate a lonely valentine's day. haha

well. nothing much this week. pretty slack. except for the fact tat my specs flew off while i was doing my airborne jump from a C-130 plane. but at least i got my wings. haha

next 2 weeks gonna be a low moral and depressing week as i will need to burn 2 of my sat away for the following 2 sat coming up. haix. crap

well. nothing much left. so i wish all a happy valentine's day!

The only thing i can do now is ........
but i donno......
will my decision be right....

2009-02-08T18:44:00.002+08:00

been a long week for me...

was out on the field for 5 days this weeks. and thus explained me lacking of sleep for all 5 days. having less thn 5 hours of sleep everyday. as i need to be on 24hr standby as a cover medic for the senior companies for their outfield exercise. Ex Falcon 2.
so is not easy being a cover medic as i always need to be prepared for a casualty at anytime for all 5 days for 24hours. heh

and thats not all. i only manage to book out today due to me doing COS duty. to put it simple is something like clerk duty for 24hr. doing works ranging from admin paperwork to answering phone calls. but at least i get to rest in an air-con room. haha. a bonus for me.

now this can be said a last min post/update before booking in to camp earlier this week at 2000. haix. long and tiring week for me. and next week will have an outfield exercise. guess i will be quite shagged out next week. but oh well.

oh ya i oso got stung by a bee after i camp back from the 5 days outfield. lol. how unlucky can i be. haha.

hopeiwillbeabletoaskuoutthiscomingsat
ifthatistohappeniguessiwontbetiredanymore

2009-02-01T17:07:00.000+08:00

im tried due to lack of rest that i reqquired.

feeling like crap...

2009-01-26T00:00:00.000+08:00

Wish everyone out there a Happy Lunar Niu(牛) year
May all your wishes come true!

祖大家新年快乐。牛年刑大运
恭喜发财。万事如意！

2009-01-22T02:18:00.000+08:00

Shag day for me. But oh wells its normal here...
Well cant watch the live telecast of the new us president barrack obama swear in as the 44th us president. Least i manage to watch the news abt it.
I do believe tat he can make changes in his era. And things can be amended and change for the better. The process will be slow. But a change will be there.
So now is the obama era. And you have my fullest support.
Your time is now!
3 cheers for the new us president and his vision!

2009-01-17T23:30:00.000+08:00

quite a slack week this week.
prepared for ATP and had ATP test this week

but sadly didnt manage to get my marksmanship badge which i have been aiming and wanting to get ever since i start my ns life. but sadly i still didnt manage to achieve my this objective. haix

didnt really had slp for pass 2 days due to tight schedule. therefore feel kinda tired yet not tired.

did some last min shopping to get my new year clothes today. mange to get wad i wanted. but spend quite abit. so gotta start saving till my next pay. haha

alrite shall stop and get some rest. tired Zzzzzz

will you be free on 140209?
wish i have the chance to be able to ask u out then
fingers crossed

2009-01-11T18:49:00.004+08:00

long week for me. due to the fact that its been a long time since i book out on sat.
and its been a tiring week wif all the exercises and "games" we play at night

for now everything is still ok. the worse is yet to come. and i predict in future i will be more shag and tired

but for now i hope everything goes well and go day by day

pray u can get well soon!
hope to meet u soon

2009-01-02T19:28:00.000+08:00

funny vid below:

its meant to be a joke. so have fun watching!

2009-01-01T00:00:00.001+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE OUT THERE!
2008 has finally come to an end. and now its the year of 2009!

i shall do a short recap on the major events that happened in 2008:

It was a busy year for me as during the first quarter of 2008 i was still rushing and being busy with my major project along side with my grp mates. remembering the time where we stayed till late in sch to complete and reach a certain milestone before we call it a day. and even rushed all the way down to Jurong to get help.
Then it was my Poly graduation ceremony. at that time of the day i really felt reluctant to leave TP as all my good memories with with frens and those enjoyable days were there. I was both happy and sad at the same time.
Next was a long break for me before i got enlisted on 13 Jun 2008 to serve my National Service for my next 2 years and it marks the next phase of my life. Enlisted to the Commandos formation. Well i donno what i shld feel. whether to be happy as i joined the most elite formation in the army or shld i feel otherwise. but never the less i still gotta to serve my these 2 years.
Lastly, its my dearest bud's 21st bday. and party at her house. too bad i cant stay for long.

Thats all or more or less the major events in 2008 for me. many major turning points happened during this year.Not to forget a certain thing i did and confessed during this year which actually changed quite abit of things too and up till now i guess it will be brought forward to 2009.

now is the start of a new year, 2009 and i hope that everything this year will go smoothly and i can enjoy whatever i can. wish everyone a happy and blasting good year ahead. and all your wishes come true!

2008-12-27T23:59:00.001+08:00

im offically a coporal now. after todays combined passing out parade to signify we completing our vocational training phase.

todays parade was tiring due to the long standing under the sun. but after a long wait. my coporal rank is dawned upon my sleeves. feel kinda proud to be promoted. but oso this marks the start of my next phase of NS life. detechment training in 1st commando battalion. and like was said to us. "Welcome to the battalion. Training wont get easier, it will only get tougher." and in our eye/ minds. this means "Welcome to hell, and your hell starts now."
well maybe i will be wrong i nvr know. but wad i really know is my life in NS will only get tougher now. and i will cont to have the image of going thru "hell" in my mind till further circumstances that MAY change my attitude.

for now i shall get my rest and mentally prepared.

O.O

and btw interesting application i saw on someone blog. interesting how they do it.

my motivation? juz cant stop wondering...

2008-12-25T00:00:00.002+08:00

Merry Chirstmas and a Happy New Year to everone! may all your wishes come true in the new year!

whee. its this time of the year again. where streets are filled with chirstmas spirits and love of couples all ard. its a nice cooling weather and yet heart warming season. how i wish the there are more of this kind of festive seasons. haha

ok that aside. celebrated my xmas wif some frens. went to minds cafe and played a card game called 'bang'. an interesting game, and quite fun to play. after which went to catch a mid night movie of 'yes man'. quite an interesting show, and not to mantion is funny, well the main actor is jim carrey. so its a funny and nice comedy show.
After the movie did a little gift exchange among the grp of frens. got my present on last mind thou. haha. after tat headed home. not a bad way to spent my christmas night.

oh btw, i must have not been to central for a freaking long time. coz i didnt know there is a another shopping centre at clark quay. called 'The Central'. god i must have start to explore the central of singapore once again. and will be going to explore the central again sometime soon. to have a look around.

now i shall get some sleep...

wish everyone a merry chirstmas and a happy new year!
hopetogooutwithyasometime

2008-12-24T14:25:00.001+08:00

will everything just come to an end this manner???

2008-12-21T20:53:00.001+08:00

stuck in my head like forever... crap...

2008-12-19T23:59:00.000+08:00

back and alive!! haha

juz did my first live decent today from a chinook(for those who donno is the chopper u always see during NDP that has the singapore flag hung on it) the distance above ground was 1000ft (ard 400m)

well while i was there got a mixture of feelings, scared and excited. but while i was in the aircraft and waiting to get to the altitude and my turn to jump. all i was thinking was fear frm the hight. coz its quite high. haha.

when its finally my turn. i got no time at all to think "oh its my turn alrdy and im scared" the next sec i know is im in the air and having heart beat racing all over the shop. haha but once the parachute is opened everything was ok and was aiming for the grass patch below me for a soft and safe landing. and here i am. safe and sound and ok. heh heh

all i can say is a good and well deserved experience. i have never tot of me jumping out frm a plane or so wif a parachute. and here i am. i did it! heh heh. quite looking forward to my next jump. woo! haha

2008-12-16T22:42:00.000+08:00

2 more days. And counting. Getting more and more nervous and scared of injury more as day goes by. Hope i will come back ok. Haha

2008-12-15T21:35:00.000+08:00

3 more days till 1000ft above ground. Feeling nervous, anxious and excited as i will not know wad to expect. Hope everything will go well and good weather

2008-12-10T20:34:00.001+08:00

Been a week since the start of my basic airborne course. All i can say now is this course is uber tiring. Both physically and mentally demanding. For now im looking forward both excited and nervous of my live decent next thur.
Now currently suffering from a mild concussion due to the frequent hitting my head on the floor due to the impacts. And aside from that oso having muscle aches on my neck and hip and thighs and having some pains while walking. Last but not least have a bruise on my inner left knee which is the size of three 50 cents coin. Cant imagine i have this much injury. Heh
Well for now all i want is to jump out and get my badge

2008-12-08T17:24:00.002+08:00

in a few hours time will be going back to camp. and back to doing my airborne drills.
feeling damn depressing going back to camp. and now demorlize once again.

hmmm. wonder wad can get my moral up again?
well actually i think i have the answer to this question myself. heh
hope days till my live decent will come fast.

-maybe im not as mature as i seems...-
-i donno what i shld say now. whatever-

2008-12-05T22:27:00.002+08:00

having stiff neck now...

somehow feeling a little disappointed now...
thinking back to those times when names were called
how i wish it can happen just again

2008-12-04T21:24:00.003+08:00

now im a 5 mth soldier.
no longer a Recruit, no longer a Private. now im a Corporal. finally i have something on my sleeve. haha. but then im will still be treated like a Recruit. so it dont really make much difference to my life. oh wells...

today is my first day of my Basic Airborne Course. all i can say for now is. its super shag and tiring. and the drills looks easy. but somehow its not as easy as it seems to execute it. and now my neck, my waist and my shoulders are all aching and my knee and part of my shoulder oso alrdy has bruise on it. but well im looking forward to the tower jump and the actual live decent frm an air plane 10000ft above ground.

now i shall stop and go rest...

-Hope that i have chance to ask u out -

2008-11-28T00:50:00.002+08:00

3 more days. ahhhhhh.... i dont want to go back to camp!!!

man really miss my poly days. when passing by TP or seeing poly students in the public juz make me think back my own poly days and really miss them. how nice that can turn back time juz to relive those fun times again. where everything is in your own control. total freedom. and can mend some mistakes that can be avoided. like being hardworking starting frm yr 1 instead of starting in yr 2. heh heh.

well every year in my poly days seem so much fun. really want to relive it man. heh heh

now is go on wif my army life wif minimal freedom. hoping will zoom by fast. heh heh.
remb saying this to myself whn i was in poly that hoping the 3 yrs will fly pass fast. now i regret that and shld had hoped for it to be slow. heh heh.

oh wells. life still goes on. those will be good and nice memories that will last forever =)

-soon it will be ur turn-
-how is it now?-

2008-11-25T14:16:00.003+08:00

finally a one week break for me frm all the training and all.

soon starting my airborne phase.

hmmm. once again im stress over wad i want. esp after hearing somethings from an instructor. i really wonder how long can i keep up. the criteria seems far to reach. thou i know i have constently reach all the criteria so far. but im really pressured on not being able to reach it sooner or later. this pressure juz keeps coming everytime a new criteria is announced.. and with the 2 most tiring tasks coming up next year. it even pressure me more to keep up with the rest and the pace
esp now im having a phobia of barbed wire due to me falling straight into the middle of a barbed wire. therefore leading to my current phobia of falling into it again. dang

well i juz hope somethings can happen to help me get back my confidence and motivation to push on. but i must say i have no idea hw have i survived for nearly 6mth now. haha. kinda glad abt it too thou..

-请告诉她我还想她.-
-reminiscing the past. puts a smile on me. =)-
-guess some motivation is you?-

2008-11-19T15:43:00.002+08:00

shit happens...

im soo not looking forward to this sun.. crap

unless i get my repayment i wont mind coz that will all me to do extra stuffs.. haix

why do i always get this kind of shit... blah =((

2008-11-16T15:08:00.002+08:00

woohoo. finally my medic course has ended. but kinda sad tat it ends so fast. and will really gonna miss my time during my medic course. but wad to do. life still goes on.

got my medic arm band. looks cool. haha. well at least now i got something on my uniform. haha. soon i will be getting another one. haha

next week is gonna do alot of errands to help other ppl who are on course and help them with thier exercises and all. but well will look forward to my 1 wk break after that. haha

i really hope now i can get attached to HQ to be a medic over there. lots of reason why i want and lots of ppl thinking of the same as me. haha. but oh wells. shall see how things go.

2008-11-13T17:44:00.000+08:00

Finally my medic course has ended. Will be having a graduation ceremony tml to get our scroll of certificate(kinda like uni) haha. And will get my medic arm band. Heh heh
Had our last and final IV injection. And is the worse and most painful IV. due to the fact my muscle and nerve was poked. Now my left arm is damn pain. Having the bruise feeling. Even juz brushing my finger over it is damn pain. So guess will be doing most work on my right arm only for a few days. Shall stop here and post again after book out. Shall go for my nights out now. Heh heh

2008-11-04T22:00:00.000+08:00

Whee hoo! Finally my basic airborne course selection test is over. And the best thing of it is i manage to pass it, thou having some pressure and set backs on not being able to pass my push up station. But never the less i manage to pass. Whee!
This means i will be going for my basic airborne course which will start on 3rd dec (damn why it start on this date. Dang. Abit sad. Cant execute my plan. Haha)
Another good news will be i will be getting my back pay after my medic course. Double yeah! Haha
Ok super uber tired. Shall slp and rest now...

2008-11-01T12:08:00.003+08:00

first week of medic combat phase. tiring carrying heavy loads ard. as we learnt how to carry casulties to evacuate them. and i sprain my back while doing one of the pratice. haha. lucky for me it was only a minor sprain. had back ache when i do any body movements for the past 2 days. now still having some minor aches, but well its recovering.

in another 3 more days i will be taking my Basic Airborne Selection Test. im damn scared that i will fail the test due to my pushups. but well i juz hope i can pass. even thou is juz barely pass, but still pass. haha

soon medic course will come to an end, then is next phase of my training, Airborne course, provided i pass the test. haha

well not really looking forward to it, as im still emo-ing of my path and feeling tired still. so i donno...

imissyou

2008-10-27T20:25:00.002+08:00

once again i have reach another cross road in my life. and once again im lost...

there are so many paths in front of me. but which one shld i choose? shld i continue down my current path or change to something else?

seriously the current life im having now is hitting me hard. esp after thinking what i will be required to do in future. now im seriously stressed out in thinking what i really want...

somehow i relly feel very sian about my current life and starting to get emo over it. damn. seriously now i donno what thing can motivate me again or make me happy. wish i can find one soon. coz im really very lost now...

something funny. now i know why some guys said that they want to find a girl-friend before they enter NS. and i mean some is really SOME. maybe one reason why some guys want or so desprately want to find a gf is coz so tat well maybe can whine to them when they hit a cross road like mine? but well i to be frank i doubt that its a solid reason. but it MIGHT juz be one of the few many possible reasons...
but oh well. for me. i guess i will juz still stick to the time and let it show whn its right...

for now. i feel like a caged bird flapping around in a small cage trying to break out of the cage any moment and any chance it has.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

-Small note to YOU: take care and pls have sufficient rest and not to overwork yourself and fall sick. any whining juz feel free to msg me or so by any means. juz a short message away. Good luck and all the best! =) -

2008-10-25T23:15:00.002+08:00

ok now i have officially come to a point of dillusions in my head.

whether or not to continue down the commandos path. with some of my mates oso having this dillusions it have hit me too now.

I really wonder if i will be able to take it and continue the path. as some things that will happen in future i really do not know if i will be able to not fall out and complete the event. i am really now doubting my physical, and mental strength.
So far i have only barely brisk pass all the criteria to move on to the phase of commando training. i am now thinking how long more can i keep up doing this. i think at one point of time i will really not be able to meet the requirement to continue on.

seriously now all my motivations are all slowly disappearing and i do not know when my mind will just tell me to give up totally. it may happen anytime i suppose. and seriously im tired. both mentally and physically with all the non-stop training.. i really wish to have a good rest. but i cant..

now i can say im really stressed and not sure what i want. it really getting too physical and mentally demanding for me. what shld i do? feeling very stress now...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What if i say...
What if i say...
What if i say...
What if i say...
What if...

2008-10-24T18:36:00.003+08:00

finally a long rest for me.

been busy for the past few weeks due to lots of test to prepare for with the little time i have. even wkends were burned juz to study and prepared for the tests. damn

but oh wells guess it paid off now. manage to book out yesterday and booking in on mon night. so its a long weekend rest for me.

finally able to organize and clear up some of my things (desktop, laptop, blog, etc.) and of coz the slp that i can get to recover myself. where i can slp till late and not waking up at 5am everyday. haha.

well next week onwards will be more tiring i guess as it will be the combat phase in medic course. where i think most likely we will be doing lots of carrying of stratchers and casulty evacuations. but oh wells. looking forward to another short week next week. haha.

that aside...

now still struggling on wad i shld prepare to buy. a ps3 or a DSLR camera. and whether to get which camera phone. shld i get samsung innov 8 or wait for sony ericsson C905 to come to singapore. the main difference i find is the flash of the camera. decisions decisions decisions. haha

well shall stop here and continue to organize my stuffs.

- To you/yous: its not i do not want to meet up and all. my time is very tight recently and im do not have much free time to go out and all. and i do not have control of my time in actual fact. it maybe planned whn im suppose to book out. but anything can happen along the way of the week so i can nvr give a confirm decision if i will be free at a particular day. Further more, when i was asked to meet up i was in camp so u cant blame me for not meeting up and all. so if u will kindly understand the situation im in. thanks alot. time is really not on my side and esp my control now... -

2008-10-18T23:10:00.002+08:00

Was a long week after so long as this week booked out on Sat. which is today. due to the need for me to retake my IPPT as i didnt achieve commando silver last time due to my standing board jump. Well didnt really sleep well last nite as i was sleeping on the floor and woke up nearly every hour. so didnt really had a full rest. but never the less i still manage to perform today during the test. gotta to say made an achievement as all my static stations improved esp for my standing board jump. from 232cm. i improved to 238cm. WOOT!
HOWEVER, my 2.4km run deproved like ard 40secs. haha. guess i have not been running for a long time. thus getting this result. haha. but all that said. i finally manage to achieve commando silver. AND this means no extra training for me. MEANS no burning away of my weekends. WOOT!
haha. that aside
Had 2 tests this week. anatomy and physiology test. and Automated External Defibillator (AED). Anatomy and physiology test was a killer for me as i could not remember all the things in the textbook. but never the less i manage to pass. haha. and passed the AED test too and manage to get another certificate for the use of AED. Those who donno wad is an AED. shall explain abit at the bottom along with a picture of how it looks like.

How an AED looks like

What is an AED?
ANS: An automated external defibrillator or AED is a portable electronic device that automatically diagnoses the potentially life threatening cardiac arrhythmias (abnormal electrical activity in the heart. The heart beat may be too fast or too slow, and may be regular or irregular) of ventricular fibrillation (a condition in which there is uncoordinated contraction of the cardiac muscle of the ventricles in the heart, making them tremble rather than contract properly) and ventricular tachycardia(fast heart rhythm that originates in one of the ventricles of the heart) in a patient,and is able to treat them through defibrillation, the application of electrical therapy which stops the arrhythmia, allowing the heart to reestablish an effective rhythm.

To sum everything up and to put things simple as it may seem too complex. The AED is used when a heart is pumping too fast or too slow to have blood circulations to the whole body, thus, electric current is sent to the heart to make it stop and is then restarted using CPR to help the patient or casulty to get back his/her normal heart beat so that blood can again be pumped to the whole body. hope this is simple enough. haha.

well. thats about all for this week. next week will have another 2 more tests on assessing a patient/casulty. However, im looking forward to next week as i will have an early book out next week. WOOT!

alright. shall stop here. time for me to rest my body...

2008-10-10T23:59:00.000+08:00

[Edited as at 10 Oct 2008]

Juz did my first intravenous infusion. Was really a fun and interesting experience. Doing the thing on others is fun but is scary for the first time. But is not as hard as i think it will be. But being done on is abit pain well looking forward to the next time. For those who donno wad is Intravenous infusion. Is actually a generic term and it means to inject liquid into a body by using a tube inserted into the vain. and the simplest way i can put it is. the drips that is attached to a patient u all always see in hospital or drama shows. That the simplest way i can put it in. haha
well this week did 2 times successfully. and i still have to successfully do another 8 more times for me to pass my medic course. but overall is a nice experience on learning how to do such a thing.

next is i gotta study for my anatomy and physiology test. which basically tests on the human body parts ranging frm the skeltons to the internal organs and their functions. kinda scared of this test coz there are lots of things to remember, and memorising things is one of my weakest part in studying.

well for now i hope i can juz pass all the test with no stress or difficulty. haha

2008-10-02T21:24:00.001+08:00

Oh man going to have my first test. Back to my poly time feeling when is exam period. Haha
Now trying to memorise everything i can since it will be both theory and practical test tml. Hope i can do well
Not been feeling well for past few days due to lack of rest. Been coughing non stop and having on and off headaches. And coughing and sneezing will trigger my headache. Feeling damn sucky. Hope wont affect my test much tml...

2008-09-26T22:56:00.002+08:00

summary of first week in medic course in Nee Soon Camp.

as said previously. got 13 textbooks to study. but so far everything is easy. except the memorising of medical terms which is hell lot. haha

well. mainly this week learnt mostly on bandaging and stopping hemorrhages and how to stop it. intersting lessons. and im really glad and happy i get into medic course since i can learn all this. cool =)

that aside...

now the new camp environment. everything is goooood. esp the bunk. is super windy and slping at nite nvr felt so good before. is like having a natural aircon at nite. with the cool wind blowing into our bunk, making it really comfortable to sleep in. the platoon sergent is oso a nice fella. a guy that can joke around with and good to talk with. so overall i guess my stay in nee soon camp will be good and rewardable.

lastly PT here is slack. but guess our platoon motivation is good and always do our own PT and regime. and the most "shiong" one was thurs. after doing the afternoon PT on thur. it felt like i was back in PTP phase when i just started PT in army and felt damn tired after that. haha. but it was worth while and good for me. hee

with all tat said. shall stop and get my rest...

-before that. if u guys have that decision. so be it. i can just f-off frm ur lives. im too lazy to argue anything. and shant before im being said back again. so shall save each others trouble and shant drag any further. breaking off.. free? maybe..bye!-

2008-09-23T13:20:00.001+08:00

Now i finally understand why my frens who went NS earlier then me says study is much better. Now i finally understand it. Is like there is no stress and everything is so relax and at our own pace. I really miss the life of studying. Thou im so called studying now. But everything is so rush. How i wish i can just have some time to slow down the pace and back to poly life or just relax.
man miss it...
Miss lots of things other then tat too. Like outings and ppl like “darling“, and other guys and lastly esp YOU!
Well now all i can do is wait and think and hope such time to relax can come

2008-09-21T02:04:00.002+08:00

today platoon outing was fine. had a good time talking to my ex-platoon 3 mates and having fun cathing up with them.

oso finally manage to see staff jimmy since he is on leave for the this week. and wont be seeing him for 8 weeks starting from monday since i go over to nee soon camp alrdy. after which had a fun time exploring a part of singapore wif some of the gang. it was an eye-opener and interesting, but is abit scary thou. haha. However, after some time things turned bad between 2 ppl and everything was in a bad shape. so i guess programs after that are cancelled. haix. well everyone is tired from training so i guess its normal for everyone to be easily flared up. hope things will turn out better...

now is time for me to rest too...

before that. TO YOU. jia you for your assignments. dont overwork youself and have sufficent rest. you can do it. all the best!

2008-09-20T17:15:00.000+08:00

come to think of it. i should have striked when the iron was hot. haix. stupid me...

2008-09-18T20:25:00.000+08:00

Back from a 2 day 1 night navigation trip in tekong. With just a super outdated map and a compass. Walked from day Till night wif a total distance covered Of 16km and ended at ard 2am. Super shag and tired due to all the walking and bashing thru of vegetation.
Now i shall rest and recover. Super shag...

2008-09-16T21:06:00.001+08:00

Private life is really different from recruit life. With lots of free time on our hands.
And after looking back. Now i understand why ppl say bmt is the phase of ns that is the most fun. Coz that is where we know new ppl and had fun and suffered together. Now i miss my bmt platoon 3. But never the less the platoon 3 spirit will remain. Haha
Now everything will be different in our course training. And thinking things now i hope i can do my best and achieve something. Haha.
All the best for my training.
-miss...-

2008-09-14T20:43:00.002+08:00

booking in an hours time. the feeling now is different somehow. i do not know why. maybe coz is no longer BMT and things will be diff? more slack? tougher? more tiring i will not know. only time will show and can only find out in future. but still i hope to do my best in my Vocational course since its my interest. haha

hmmm. out of the sudden i feel myself being stupid coz thinking of a certain again. i donno why i think im starting to miss a certain someone again. its weird. guess is due to the fact that i manage to meet this certain someone after a long time and made me feel this way again. starting to miss you...ok think im just dumb to be thinking this way again. and im just silly to keep thinking of this certain someone. heh. but well its the fact that im starting to miss this certain someone again and i wont deny it. even if im dumb and stupid... well i donno... heh...

2008-09-10T23:59:00.000+08:00

Finally after 3 months of hard work and training. today was my POP but before the parade was a 24km route march. however manage to overcome tat can cleared the route march thou it was tiring. but the parade of us "graduating" from the BMT phase juz revitalised us. and wearing the jungle hat was Whoa! no words to describe the feelings. haha. but i must be happy tat i manage to pass BMT and continue to stay in commandos. yeah! and now to the next phase of my NS life. commando vocational training and im posted to commandos medic for my vocational training which i wanted. hope i can learnt lots of things from there and can be applied outside when needed. wish me luck! =D

My instructors: 1SG Haresh, 2WO Kenny Chua, 1SG Bernard

2008-09-09T22:40:00.000+08:00

Last event before my pop and tat is a 24km route march which will start in 12 hour time. Hope can complete it wif no problem and enjoy my leave after tat

2008-09-08T22:25:00.001+08:00

Yeah. Got to know my vocation today. And manage to get to the vocation i wanted. Which is commando medic which means im staying in commandos.yeah
Oso today got my jungle hat wif my call sign and the commando formation. Woot!
Today war a really fun and happy time wif the good news, and hat i got and a fun time at happy hour
Now time for me to slp...

2008-09-06T23:53:00.002+08:00

today has proven it to me. we no longer clique like we used to. my thinking is totally different from u guys alrdy. things you find funny. no longer seems funny to me. somethings you do no longer is fun. its irritating to me sometimes.

i will not give in and say its my fault. i have no idea what is going on. and i just reached like i will know what happen to u. u doing things are always right. and seriously sometimes im just out of words of ur actions and the way u act.

well today have shown me that things changed and never was the way it was before i guess. i guess we cant clique like we used to...u can think whatever u want. this is my view. u may say me childish or what. maybe u can see and think abt ur action too. all i can say is im no gonna care wad is going to be said to me...

all changed...

- 4 more days to POP-

2008-09-06T09:41:00.002+08:00

Recruit nite was really fun. wif all the acting by our fellow bravo coy 08. everyone imitating all the instructors and all really showed their instructors habits and so-called signature action out. and its really funny and entertaining for the whole nite. and i bet all the instructors have a good laugh too esp at each other. haha
was a really good day and had a fun time watching the performance and had a good laugh.

manage to clearify my IPPT results and it was a mistake. and my award is an IPPT silver instead of a pass. so im glad i cleared that out.

is just a short 4 days to my POP. really looking forward to it. and the vocational course that i will be posted to. However, there is still a possibility that i will be posted out to outside units. everyone sure have this feeling and fear of being posted out. so im not surprised i have too. well. time will show everything. and i hope things will go well and i can continue to stay in commandos.

2008-09-04T20:28:00.001+08:00

Everything is over. Ippt over with a result tat im happy with. Results as below:-
Sit up- 48
Pull up- 9
Shuttle run- 9.6 sec
Standing board jump- 230cm
2.4 km run- 9.40 min
Happy. With result.left with soc to clear. Donno if i will get posted out of commandos coz i fail. Now my leg is in no condition to run. Every step is pain. Wonder wad will happen. Scared and worried now. Haix leg is gone...

2008-09-01T20:59:00.000+08:00

still stressed about tml SOC test. really hope i can pass. Hope the method i experimented can help me... fear and stress is overcoming me now. haix. just wish me luck. Hope things will go well... :(

scared and stress of being kick out too. sigh. god please help me... heh

missing and thinking. sad :(

2008-09-01T09:37:00.002+08:00

Am i stressed out?
I think i am...

I am thinking alot now. about alot of things. Ithink im fine but seems tat im not and im stressed out esp wif all the test coming up

Tears juz flows out after hearing my dad showing concern over me and asking if im stressed and share wif them my probs if i have and dont keep to myself..
the warmth of caring by my parents juz hit me hard as it really been a long time im cared and concern tis manner and im seriously touched by my parents. I didnt say tis before but thanks mum and dad for ur care and concern. love u guys.

Stressed. if only miracles can happen and i can see......

2008-08-31T16:38:00.004+08:00

uploaded the pictures we took yesterday. had fun doing all the things

2008-08-30T23:59:00.000+08:00

[Edited]

11 more days to POP. woots! cant wait. where i can get my formation badge and my jungle hat. woots! haha. provided nothing goes wrong and i got posted out instead. having a slight feeling that might happen. if that happens i will be uber disappointed.

well. today met up wif my sec sch friends and ate at yuki yaki (or was it yaki yuki. forgotten. haha) the food there was nice and is really worth the price. really shld go there with my other frens.ate like for 4hours plus. haha. talking and eating.
after which went to suntec IT fair. crowded on a saturday as usual. just went to creative booth to look to see if i can get any accessories for my new mp3. after that we sat down at one corner and slacked. the gals of my group started to cam-whore. lol. and took their cameras to play around with their iso and all. haha
after that walked to millinia walk. and walked to a place with nice sculptues and a beautiful fountain. the gals cont to cam-whore. and i started to join in the cam-whoring session. lol. yes me. cam-whoring. but well only did some pose by doing somethings my frens tot were impossible. haha. guessed army helped me to gain confidence to do stupid things like cam-whoring and having fun thru it. haha. which i felt good. coz i manage to gain confidence to do such things. haha. so i future if my frens want. might cam-whore with them. hee hee

update on my latest IPPT test results which i took yesterday morning. well i can say everything had improved except i still short on juz 1 chin-up to get silver for IPPT. below is my results:-

Chin-up: 7 times
Sit-up: 45 times
Shuttle run: 10.0sec
Standing Board Jump: 230cm
2.4KM run: 9.46min - 9.54min (didnt really take note of my own timing so not sure wad is my exact timing. all i know is its below 10min. haha)
really happy with my 2.4km run timing as i was aiming 10min flat but i exceeded it. so really happy on my performance.

oh one thing i finally understand why guys will be different before entering NS and after entering NS. there will be change in thinking and everything. and its so very true. after experiencing it today. there is some difference.

well. long week for me. and i shall turn in soon. shall upload the photos as soon as possible when i get it.

2008-08-24T20:05:00.002+08:00

my mp3 is offically dead. brought to the service centre and was told that the hard disk inside is gone. and since it is no longer under warrenty. servicing it will not be worth it as the cost can allow me to get a new mp3. so currently looking at the creative Zen X-fi mp3. tempted to get it. as i cant live without music. so i shall see how. maybe have a look during the upcoming comex show next weekend.

thats not all. my camera phone didnt manage to get it to the service centre today as by the time i went, it was closed. so gotta have my mother to bring it down tml. this means one day later to have my phone checked and serviced. damn.

still there is more bad things happening. the new phone i bought yesterday. have some firmware or software problem. it could not access the media storage memory which is 4gb. which i really need to store my songs and other things into that internal memory. so brought it back today and oso it have to be kept and bring for repair which i do not know will take how long. damn. seems like everything just broke down at the same time. and now i gotta live with nothing and an old phone which no functions or what so ever. feel like crap. argh! haix. feel so sian coz of all this... if only a miracle can happen to change my mood...

in an hour time gonna book in. feel very sian oso. have this feeling every week when i book in. haix. really wish something to make me happy and make my day =/

anw 17 more days to my passing out parade...

2008-08-24T01:04:00.002+08:00

both my sony ericsson K850i camera phone and my Zen Vision: M mp3 are both officially dead and are required to send each of the to their respective hospitals for treatment. damn its like 2 knife stabs to me. the 2 things that i use the more frequently are now not working. feeling crap and like a lot of things is missing. what worries me the most now is my mp3 as my warrenty is over. so i am not sure how much the service is going to be. pray hard that it wont cost much to the extend where i can buy a new set of mp3. pray pray pray.

for my phone i think it shld be can be repaired for free as it is still under warrenty. for now juz bought a new phone to replace and be used as my camp phone. phone model is sony ericsson W950i. still playing around with it and getting use to it. but still i do hope both my mp3 and camera phone will be back in one piece fast and as soon as possible

2008-08-20T22:12:00.001+08:00

[Updated]

Back frm 8 days field camp in tekong. below is a summary of my 8 days of out field.

Day 1
-----
Arrived at P.Tekong. 8km route march to our camp site (CCP 7). was a ok march, and did field signal along with the march. halting and high kneeling all the way. allocated our spaces and setted up our basha (tent) thn had Individual Field Craft lessons (IFC) both day and night. lights out at 2230

Day 2
-----
Morning PT. followed by an hour plus of admin which includes our breakfast time. fall in and had more field craft lessons and pratical pratices. praticed on judging distances, target indication, visual searching and keeping directions. keeping direction was fun. was caught by instructors who acted as enemy terrorists and got "tortured" by crawling in mud pool during the day pratice. at the night pratice manage to go pass without being caught with the help of "operation Panda". was really tired during tat day due to the long night walk back to our camp.

Day 3
-----
Morning PT again. then had more field craft lessons. praticed on crossing danger area and contact drills(things to do when enemny attacked). was quite tiring while doing esp need to crawl around. but was ok as we were rewarded with rests if we do well. praticed it non stop till night.

Day 4
-----
Moved to a place with lots of buildings. praticed urban operations (storming a building and clearing a room) really like urban ops. is like playing call of duty except now its real life. really cool esp when we praticed in team/grp of threes. after which during the night moved to another location to sleep.

Day 5
-----
One of the most fun yet tiring day. During the first half of the day went to the live granade range to throw live granade. its really a once in a life time experience. while at the waiting area the blast was really loud which i thought of using ear plugs while throwing. but ended up not using since its once in a life time. but the sound was surprisingly softer while inside, but could feel the change in air pressure when the granade exploded. During the 2nd half of the day. did Battle Innoculation Course (BIC). is pratically crawling a distance and under barb wires and having machine guns with live rounds shooting over our heads. the whole thing was really really tiring. esp after the 2nd round. was really exhausted and the heat got to me. felt giddy and weak with no energy which cause me to nearly faint. damn >.<
but still manage to go thru.

Day 6
-----
Finally a relax day. had a circuit of IFCs to help us revise on our field crafts. was easy and my Detecment did really well in all the stations which we were rewarded with rests =D
After lunch had lesson on how to cross corn wires. and praticed. yet again my detechment did fairly well.

Day 7
-----
Another relax day. had IFC tests for the whole day. had very long rest and slacked around as we got to wait for our turn to be tested. so it was an easy day. and further more we were allowed to sleep at 1930 hours (7.30pm) which was super early. but the relax day didnt last long. had a turnout at 0130 hours (1.30am) thunderflashes which stimulates granades and had machine guns firing all around. this marks the start of our day 8 event. "Exercise Thunderstorm"

Day 8
-----
Exercise thunderstorm. day started at 0130 hours with a turn out. it is to stimulate we being surprised attacked by enemies and were "tortured" as POWs. we were forced to crawl, push ups, jumping jacks and lastly roll which made most of us vomitted. the whole torture thing lasted for like an hour after which had de-brief and learnt some special skills for our missions. After the tourture, had a 5km route march to our starting point of our missions. was really tired and i nearly fell aslp while marching. was fighting to keep myself awake as eyelids were really heavy. when reach start point started on our missions. total of 7 stations which is = 7 missions. shant describe the stations as it will be very long. want to know talk to me when u see me. haha. after all the stations were done. another 8km route march back to jetty which means going home! yay! marched pass lots of BMTC companies and sang really loud to make our presence felt. and the thing is bronco company had a 2.4km run but failed to find yk and raymond. haha. guess too many guys. back in pasir ris camp. had a really good dinner. one packet of nasi lemak and a can of cold coke. really nice after 8 days of combat rations.

Overall the field camp was a nice and wonderful experience. sleeping with and without cover in a jungle. doing businesses in a jungle. it was fun come to think of it. and at the same time it was tiring. esp i was the Detecment(group of 12 men) In-Charge (Det IC) for the whole 8 days. was more tired as got more work to do as an IC. but still i had a fun and great experience there.

now its time for pure training of physical for my SOC and IPPT really hope to pass these 2 so that i can continue to stay in commandos and get my red baret. oh and 2 more weeks till i pass out!!! woot! time was really fast. soon it will be 3 months and my BMT phase will be over. looking forward to my Passing Out Parade!

time for me to rest...

2008-08-10T22:43:00.000+08:00

2 more days to tekong field. Feeling the stress coming to me and the fear of not being able to cope. Haix. I Juz hope time will pass fast and everything will go smooth.
Read it. Didnt know it was tat bad tat u need to go for an x-ray. Really hope everything will be alright and ok for u. Now im really worried abt ur health after u have fallen so ill really hope u recover soon. Even thou wont be ard online or so. But will always be there when u need. Will be praying for ur health always. :)
Rest time. Bye all

2008-08-08T22:57:00.002+08:00

another update of the week...

these week was really tiring. had a lot of straining activities this week. First was the field camp in Marsling. although it is only a 2 days 1 night field camp. Was really tired after reaching back to camp. did not have a good night slp as the floor was really uncomfortable. and suffered quite a number of bruises and injuries all over my hands and both legs especially on the knees, and the 12km route march was really tiring. carrying a heavy load, walking up and down the roads and walking on broken road with gravels all sticking up, causing my feet to be super pain.

next after the field camp the following day we had a event called "Ultimate Detechment Challenge". It is an event where a total of 16 groups(detechments) compete against one another to see who is the strongest as a detechment and as a platoon. The tasks we were suppose to do were split into 4 stations.

Station 1: 400 Push-ups, 400 Sit-ups, 200 Chin-ups
Station 2: 1.5km casualty evacuation(60kg = 3x 20l jerry cans)
Station 3: Weapon proficency (Strip and assembly of weapons and IA drills)
Station 4: 50m Full-battle order leopard crawl

after all 4 stations, we are to walk a 9km route march in Full-Battle Order. Sadly to say i had to fall out half way nearing the end of the route march due to heat exhausted. vision was blurry, no energy at all, feeling damn warm all around, hands and legs were numb. and was really close to fainting. really really disappointed in myself not being able to hold on all the way to the end point. And im really sad and disappointed that we didnt came in first or second. nither did our platton came in 1st. We were super demoralised the whole day after seeing the results. Should i have not stopped my detechments and continue to push on. i believe my platoon would come in first. damn!

after that had lessons on grenade throwing and praticed using dummy grenades. Then the next day which is today. had a parent engagement session (something like parent meeting session in secondary schools) to show our progress so far.

now really tired. need rest.

and the whole of next week will not be back. will only be back on the following week due to another field camp. now it will be a 8days field camp in pulau Tekong. now im feeling really really stressed and scared that i will not be able to take it. argh!

Time to rest...

2008-08-03T19:47:00.002+08:00

manage to have a short meet up wif some frens. had a good time talking to them and catching up and remembering the old times b4 i entered NS, when meeting ups were much easier. haha. but still had a good time together with them.
an hour+ or so left before i book in to camp again. every week when i book in i just feel damn sad and sian. always having the feeling of AWOL. haix but still. life goes on...

that a side..

To you: a short post for you to get well soon. and that you will have a fast and speedy recovery. and that your voice will return soon, your cough, sneeze and aches will just disappear soon. Rest well. and get well soon!

2008-08-03T17:57:00.002+08:00

Rick Price - Heaven Knows
-------------------------

She's always on my mind
From the time I wake up till
I close my eyes
She's everywhere I go
She's all I know

And though she's far away
It just keeps getting stronger
everyday
And even now she's gone
I'm still holding on
So tell me where do I start
Cause it's breaking my heart
Don't wanna let her go

Maybe my love will come back someday
Only heaven knows
And maybe our hearts will find a way
Only heaven knows
And all I can do is hope and pray
'cause heaven knows

My friends keep tellin' me
That if you really love her
You've gotta set her free
And if she returns in time
I know she's mine
So tell me where do I start
Cause it's breaking my heart
Don't wanna let her go

Maybe my love will come back someday
Only heaven knows
And maybe our hearts will find a way
Only heaven knows
And all I can do is hope and pray
'cause heaven knows

Why I live in despair
'Cause wide awake or dreaming
I know she's never there
And all this time I act so brave
I'm shaking inside
Why does it hurt me so

Maybe my love will come back someday
Only heaven knows
And maybe our hearts will find a way
Only heaven knows
And all I can do is hope and pray
'cause heaven knows

Maybe my love will come back someday
Only heaven knows
And maybe our hearts will find a way
Only heaven knows
And all I can do is hope and pray
'cause heaven knows
Heaven knows... [ x2 ]

lyrics of one of my favourite song. and the meaning in it really fits me right now. lol.

2008-08-01T21:19:00.002+08:00

a short update on this week.. lazy to write down in details.

all i can say this week was an easy week. but as the saying goes. the sea is the calmest before a storm. and my storm is a 8 days field camp in 2weeks time. which i hope i can pull through =/

this week mainly had lessons of field camp nearly everyday. well. just take is that its like a lecture in a poly. only is in military context. noting much.
also this week had another IPPT mock test. and i can say im quite happy with my results as i see improvments especially on my 2.4km run. manage to run in 10min 14sec. which at first i was surprised on my own timing too. its like a 3min+ slash from my very first 2.4km run at pasir ris camp. overall im happy.

that aside...

shared some stories here and there with my platoon mates. they have been saying lots of things which really make me confuse and all. sometimes i do not agree on what they say but somethings i do. wad i feel now is that it seems i have some problem talking to you. feels like sometimes u just do not want to reply back. and that you are busy to meet up. i do not know if its true. coz it seems you still have the time to meet some other friends. it just seems like everything you are avoiding me, and reading somethings really makes me wonder our "close-ness". i really wonder what is what now. can you please tell me?
yes i know somethings im thinking too much. yes i know maybe you really are that busy. but is just that somethings i just dont feel that way instead i feel some other ways. it sounds very dramatic. you may say that im jealous and all. but thats whats on my mind, and i have said my piece. just hope it didnt piss you off...

2008-07-26T21:43:00.002+08:00

yet another update.

this week feel really tired somehow. always wanted to slp early but end up didnt. haha
had 2 test this week. weapon handling test and first-aid test. all i can say is the 2 tests are easy and is meant to help us pass easily.
Also this week had a taste of SOC (Standard Obstacle Course). all the stations are ok and quite easy to cross. the main prob that gives me some prob are swing-trainer (monkey-bar) and low-rope. but i think in due time. i will be able to overcome them easily.

that aside (away from army things)...

it will be nearing one year since i started everything. and i can say lots of things changed as the time passed. good or bad i do not know. but all i know there are happy times and sad times. and yet im still holding on up till now. i wont say "i wonder why" i think i know the reason. just i do not dare to face it or say it out thats all.
i guess it will be stupid and silly of me to keep thinking about you, missing you when im suppose to be concentrating on my training instead. is just i cant help it sometimes. i guess its just silly of me to do all this but i wont deny it that im doing it. that i miss you and think abt you.
i guess im still holding on and waiting i suppose. but where will it lead to i dont know. just do not want to put any stress or pressure on you. and will always be her for the you when you need a support.

heh. i guess you out there reading it will find that im stupid to say all this. just dont want to stress you...

2008-07-22T22:05:00.001+08:00

Getting tired day by day. Feeling more and more lazy and no motivation to push myself. Wonder why. Hmmm.
Well shall update more when i book out on sat. Now im shall rest early today. -still thinking and pondering over things. Man i wish so...-

2008-07-20T19:22:00.001+08:00

an excuse? a reality...

i will never know. only you will know...

wad ever the case i juz hope that your decision i always the truth...

- thinking and pondering over lots of things -

2008-07-19T21:37:00.003+08:00

another update for another week...

this week went quite smoothly till yesterday when lots of things turned sour and was not that good. when we were punished by our platoon sgt to do a changing parade from full battle order to PT kit back to FBO again. and the total time we change around was like 5 times. was really sick and tired of doing it but i got no choice but to do it. well enough of unhappy moments
was tiring this week too as did lots of running. like speed training and endurance runs.
but im happy with my own results for this week

firstly for speed training manage to clock below 5min 30sec for 1.2km for both 2 times.
next for endurance run, manage to clock around 16min+ and 24min+ for 3km and 4.5km respectivly. so was quite happy i manage to reach all the stipulated timings given.

next somehow or another i surprised myself by doing 2 chin-up/pull-up on my own wifout any assistance. weird on how i manage to do that. but still happy i manage to break my own barrier =]

hope i will be able to continue to improve more =]

oh and today was was to have a bday celebration in army. a one in a lifetime experience. and sgt bernard was fun to be playing pranks wif us and saboing me as it was my bday today. haha

well happy bday to me. haha =]

2008-07-13T20:08:00.002+08:00

back to camp in another hour time. start of BMT phase.

a little scared due to my chin-up/pull-up. i really hope i will be able to break the barrier.

having a mental preparation is one thing. when something happen is another. man..sucks

-welliwonderwhyimfeelingthisway.guessitstimethatdoallthisisuppose.
guesstimewilldoitworkagainsoon.shalljuzwait
misstalkingtoyouandmissyou-

2008-07-13T00:02:00.002+08:00

summary of this week.

this week in camp was slack. and things were easy and relax. maybe due to the preparation for the BMT intake yesterday(Friday).

well. as mentioned b4. had IPPT CAT test again which i really am not happy with my own results. feeling crappy coz of it. and now having low morale and not much motivation. guess really got to stress and pressure myself more to get better results.

this week had out first Friday book out. cool. fianlly a long weekend for me to rest my muscles. Monday will be the start of BMT training. well. do not know how tough it will be. just hope i will be able to endure. and hope my bunk will be more fun since there is an additional of 8 more bunk mates. haha

alrite enough of camp stuff..

yest nite met up wif "darling". so sweet of her to celebrate an early bday wif me as not sure if able to meet up next week. getting me a slice of cake and a bread which was funny on why she got tat bread for me. haha. really sweet of her to celebrate bday wif me alone. and watched the movie Red Cliff at DTE. not a bad show. but the ending was abit surprising. haha. after the movie didnt know where to go. so sat in the car at talked till ard 4.15am then drove "darling" home and i headed home to catch my much needed slp. haha. cool bday celebration. =)

that a side...

not sure is due to what reason. guess due to the lack of sleep and shouting alot. currently not really feeling well. sense like i will be down wif some illness soon =x
and feeling very uncomfortable as im having serious sore throat now and dry coughs quite often. crap.

well. thats about it for this week. update again next week. time to rest...

-miss...-

2008-07-09T20:42:00.000+08:00

Short post. Using gprs. Today had ippt cat test again. Was totally not happy wif my results. Only improvements are my 2.4km run, shuttle run and sit up. However pull up im still stuck as a freaking zero fighter. And standing board jump deproved 10cm. Now totally moodless due to my standards not up to my expectations. Guess i need to pressure and stress myself more to perform better. Haix. Low moral now...