Thursday, May 8, 2008
cold hearted
i do not know what am i...
went to visit my 2nd uncle who is now down with cancer. and has spreaded and his condition is getting worse. he does not ave the appitite to eat thus leading him to the lack of energy to walk or even get out of bed. all he wants is to sleep. i can see e lost lots of weight. his hands are all skinny. having see all this i do not feel anything inside of me. yes i know i am sad somewhere deep down inside my heart. but i do not feel any pain. i really wonder why.. am i really that cold hearted? i donno. i just dont feel a thing. nothing at all....
but i do hope he can be better somehow...
and today talking to her, i got to know some things going on. ok i know she is feeling moodless and all now. but seriously i really hope she can be able to hold on. cause i know she can break down easily and i have seen it before. i really do not wish for it to happen. cause the last time i saw her broke down and me looking in the webcam and unable to do anything really make me feel useless and hurts me alittle somehow. I now just hope and pray that whatever she said on MSN will never ever happen. because if that really happens i do not know what will happen to her thou she said she cant be bothered and will not affect her. but when it becomes reality everything will be different and will sure to hit her hard. which i do not know how will she handle it. but still i hope nothing will happen to her. please stay strong....
and again saying all this i do not feel any pains and everything. am i really this cold hearted?? i do not know myself anymore....
well i guess certain things are happening around me in my life... and i seem so useless and everything. now knowing everything. but unable to do anything...i donno anymore....i'm lost in a mixture of cross-roads and feelings...
-Why am i faking all these to myself... seriouly i think i....-
went to visit my 2nd uncle who is now down with cancer. and has spreaded and his condition is getting worse. he does not ave the appitite to eat thus leading him to the lack of energy to walk or even get out of bed. all he wants is to sleep. i can see e lost lots of weight. his hands are all skinny. having see all this i do not feel anything inside of me. yes i know i am sad somewhere deep down inside my heart. but i do not feel any pain. i really wonder why.. am i really that cold hearted? i donno. i just dont feel a thing. nothing at all....
but i do hope he can be better somehow...
and today talking to her, i got to know some things going on. ok i know she is feeling moodless and all now. but seriously i really hope she can be able to hold on. cause i know she can break down easily and i have seen it before. i really do not wish for it to happen. cause the last time i saw her broke down and me looking in the webcam and unable to do anything really make me feel useless and hurts me alittle somehow. I now just hope and pray that whatever she said on MSN will never ever happen. because if that really happens i do not know what will happen to her thou she said she cant be bothered and will not affect her. but when it becomes reality everything will be different and will sure to hit her hard. which i do not know how will she handle it. but still i hope nothing will happen to her. please stay strong....
and again saying all this i do not feel any pains and everything. am i really this cold hearted?? i do not know myself anymore....
well i guess certain things are happening around me in my life... and i seem so useless and everything. now knowing everything. but unable to do anything...i donno anymore....i'm lost in a mixture of cross-roads and feelings...
-Why am i faking all these to myself... seriouly i think i....-
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
2nd letter of rejection
2nd rejection came today.
from NTU this time
so now is 2 down and one last 1 to go. which actually i know the answer alrdy. but oh wells *shrugs*
from NTU this time
so now is 2 down and one last 1 to go. which actually i know the answer alrdy. but oh wells *shrugs*
Monday, May 5, 2008
humans
long day.
wanted to go for a jog. but weather wasnt good. gray clouds covered the sky the whole day. and did rained alittle in the afternoon. hope it wont rain tomorrow
Wonder is it me or wad. always being so careless. slight burn on my finger while cooking lunch. Thn slight cut on my lips for donno wad reason (suspecting due to my dry lips cracked. which has been dry for quite sometime).
Tired and lost of appitite recently donno why.
ultra warm weather recently. you! and you! and especially you! remember to drink more water!
tired. shall stop here.
-The truth is.......
can only hide the truth. wanting to say but cant. can only keep it to myself and let time tell and nature take its course-
wanted to go for a jog. but weather wasnt good. gray clouds covered the sky the whole day. and did rained alittle in the afternoon. hope it wont rain tomorrow
Wonder is it me or wad. always being so careless. slight burn on my finger while cooking lunch. Thn slight cut on my lips for donno wad reason (suspecting due to my dry lips cracked. which has been dry for quite sometime).
Tired and lost of appitite recently donno why.
ultra warm weather recently. you! and you! and especially you! remember to drink more water!
tired. shall stop here.
-The truth is.......
can only hide the truth. wanting to say but cant. can only keep it to myself and let time tell and nature take its course-
Sunday, May 4, 2008
iron man
drove the whole day yest. shant think abt it.
watced iron man yest. nice show. have a slight mix of comedy in the actions. and the technology was WAY COOL!!! i wish i have the guy system in my house. or have his house as my own. hahaha. well. overall is a nice show tat can be watched in the cinema.
And now 1 down 2 to go. got my first letter of rejection by NUS. and i highly doubt i will hear good news from the other 2 uni. haix sad. now i shall wait for the appeal dates to appeal and try again.
watced iron man yest. nice show. have a slight mix of comedy in the actions. and the technology was WAY COOL!!! i wish i have the guy system in my house. or have his house as my own. hahaha. well. overall is a nice show tat can be watched in the cinema.
And now 1 down 2 to go. got my first letter of rejection by NUS. and i highly doubt i will hear good news from the other 2 uni. haix sad. now i shall wait for the appeal dates to appeal and try again.
Friday, May 2, 2008
baby photos...
Today happen to open the cupboard that have all my families photos which we took in the past. and happen to see all my baby and young photos. hahaha
They definately do not look like me at all!! i dont see any resemblance of me at all!! haha. okey. well here are some pics which i find are nicer =p
I got the driver genes in me!
I too have the acrobatic genes in me. haha
Study genes??? nah don't think i have it
This explains why i love to sleep or laze in bed
Used to love taking photos. haha
go ahead and laugh if u want. coz i laughed too when i looked at them. haha. so enjoy=p
They definately do not look like me at all!! i dont see any resemblance of me at all!! haha. okey. well here are some pics which i find are nicer =p
I got the driver genes in me!
I too have the acrobatic genes in me. haha
Study genes??? nah don't think i have it
This explains why i love to sleep or laze in bed
Used to love taking photos. haha
go ahead and laugh if u want. coz i laughed too when i looked at them. haha. so enjoy=p
Thursday, May 1, 2008
wild crazy life
hahaha. have a fun time talking to my scandal partner. wahahaha. you know who you are!! lol. my scandal "darling" hahahaha and got the inspiration for the words of my blog banner from her. thanks "darling". hahahaha! ok goosebumps all standing alrdy i guess for everyone. haha. but was fun talking to her.
wild + crazy life = fun life =D
another amazing thing happened. was talking to a fren which haven talk to him for some time. was my ex-supervisor whn i first started to work after o-lvl. happen to know that he is playing the same online game as me too (CabalSEA). haha and whn i asked him wads his character name. to my surprise it was one person which i happen to came across a few days ago. and whn i saw the name at first in the game. i was tinking could it be my fren. but assumed he was too bz to play games so should not be him. but to my surprise it was really him. haha. amazing how small this world is. even coincidence meetings can happen in online games. haha. cool
well i oso notice my tag board has been quiet for sometime. no one tagged my tag board T_T sadded
shall stop here...
-Amazed and wondering.... -
wild + crazy life = fun life =D
another amazing thing happened. was talking to a fren which haven talk to him for some time. was my ex-supervisor whn i first started to work after o-lvl. happen to know that he is playing the same online game as me too (CabalSEA). haha and whn i asked him wads his character name. to my surprise it was one person which i happen to came across a few days ago. and whn i saw the name at first in the game. i was tinking could it be my fren. but assumed he was too bz to play games so should not be him. but to my surprise it was really him. haha. amazing how small this world is. even coincidence meetings can happen in online games. haha. cool
well i oso notice my tag board has been quiet for sometime. no one tagged my tag board T_T sadded
shall stop here...
-Amazed and wondering.... -
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