finally im back from my 2wks of NS confinement.

it just feels so good to be back home. haha. with all the familiar things around me
haha

well. not much time for me to enjoy. but will make use of everytime wisely
haha..

overall its feels good to be back home. after being away for 2 wks. hope time will pas faster now.

to you: seriously miss you whn im inside. not that i want to think. but ya. just miss talk to u and all alot. hope to see you soon =)

im gone.

Special Operation Tactics Centre to serve my NS. confinement for first 2wks

back in 2 wks

in less then 24 hours i will be at pasir ris camp serving my NS BMT...

well. got nth much. just hope time time wont be so draggy whn im inside...

that aside..

i must be stupid to suspect everything...

i must be stupid to think of it that way...

i must be stupid to feel jealous after reading it i donno why...

i must be stupid to keep asking the same question juz to reassure myself...

i must be stupid to think so much and having the feeling we are drifting apart...

i must be stupid to now asking myself this question of are we still the same, closer or further...

i must be stupid now to think that im gonna miss you badly i donno why but i will...

i must be stupid... just hope we are still the same as before.

i must be stupid to write all these now...

-idonnowhyiwritethis,isjustsomethingthatiwishtosayout,iknowyoumayfeelirritatedbythisorso,
idonotknowwhatyouwillsayafterthis,iguessimjustreassuringmyselfagain...alwaybebyourside-

只剩下鋼琴陪我談了一天
睡著的大提琴
安靜的舊舊的
我想你已表現的非常明白
我懂我也知道
你沒有捨不得
你說你也會難過我不相信
牽著你陪著 我也只是曾經
希望他是真的比我還要愛你
我才會逼自己離開

你要我說多難堪
我根本不想分開
為什麼還要我用微笑來帶過
我沒有這種天份
包容你也接受他
不用擔心的太多
我會一直好好過

你已經遠遠離開
我也會慢慢走開
為什麼我連分開都遷就著你
我真的沒有天份
安靜的沒這麼快
我會學著放棄你
是因為我太愛你

hurt...

i wonder how and what to do. news of my uncle condition just reach me. unable to pass thru tis wk is wad i heard. by then i will be in NS. no last look. i donno what to do...

will see how tml...

trying not to tink. but after certain things...

it just flows out unknowingly...

was it a lie? i donno anything anymore. i donno...

the hurt just hit me unknowingly...

everything is thrown in chaos...

i donno anything anymore...

if there is only me... where is the me that is really me?

i donno what im feeling and what i shld do now...

yes 3 more days and im gonna say good bye and hello to pasir ris camp.
in 3 days time will be the start of my NS life everything seem so fast. esp time. its only like yesterday whn i started my poly life. and now gonna start my NS life. time do flies whn u didnt notice. and sometimes i wonder wad will happen if i chose a different path in poly. and with the different set of ppl i meet. how different will my life be from it now. but im glad my chosen path. meeting all the great ppl ard me. and esp being given a special someone who i will treasure forever and who will always be there and stand by me. thank you for being my special someone. Your existence in my life changed alot in me, and is an important existence i have in me now. your smile make my world and my day perfect. Thank you alot to you=]

that aside...

watched kungfu panda. and the show was hilarious. laughed nearly the whole show. nice and interesting show. cool. heh
well something i find it true in the show. believe and start to believe . and there are no secret recipe. there is only you...

with that said. off to do nth. heh

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.. ..-. --- -. .-.. -.-- .. -.-. .- -. .... .- ...- . - .... . -.-. .... .- -. -.-. . - --- ... .- -.-- .. .... . .- .-. - -.-- --- ..-
.. ..-. --- -. .-.. -.-- .. -.-. .- -. .- .-.. .-- .- -.-- ... -... . -... -.-- -.-- --- ..- .-. ... .. -.. . .-- .... . -. -.-- --- ..- -. . . -..
.. ..-. --- -. .-.. -.-- - .... . .-. . -.-. .- -. -... . -- --- .-. . -... . - .-- . . -. ..- ...
-... ..- - .. ..-. .- .-.. .-.. - .... . .. ..-. ... -.-. .- -. .... .- .--. .--. . -. - .... .. ... .-- --- .-. .-.. -.. .-- --- ..- .-.. -.. -. . ...- . .-. -... . .. -- .--. . .-. ..-. . -.-. -
..-. --- .-. -. --- .-- .-- . .- .-. . .-- .... .- - .-- . .- .-. .

truth

the truth of that question...

i want to know the answer. why?

coz im curious...

coz i wish to know u better...

and lastly so that i can know what i should do and organize everything properly..

but i do nor have the answer. therefore im at a lost...

ppl asked is give up my ans...

i juz reply no. but i cant help having the feeling i will be forced to do that....

fgs grand opening

helped out today at FGS being an usher to prevent public from entering the main hall as its a VIP only premises. many major people were here. Our president, Grandmaster Hsin yun. it normal for the public keep wanting to go enter the premises esp to have a look at Grandmaster Hsin yun.
Well couldnt say is an easy job. As many people will take any chance they have just to slip into the compound. Overall is great. manage to see both the president and the grandmaster upfront as the car of the president drove pass me and was a human shield to guide Master across. cool. haha
but well. day ended with a headache and stomach upset. oh wells. at least i get to see major peoples. heh =]

that aside...

I wonder what am i thinking now. complicated feelings and i do not know what to do. if things were like in the past everything will be clear. but now. due to some complications it can nvr be like the past. and i wish it could be like the past. well. i donno...

-if only... i donno anymore...-

i donno

its offically less thn 1 wk b4 i step into my NS life.
well. maybe wad they say is true. whn we come out we will be talking abt nth but our NS days. but well i really do hope it wont be that bad. coz be be frank and honest i want to talk more thn juz that.

i dont understand myself anymore. i dont know why am i feeling this way. i cant explain and cant tell what i am doing. but all i know is wad im am feeling but whit no what-so-ever reason. wonder why...

-If only...-

old sch meet up

Met up with my sec sch "brothers" yest (4 Jun-Wed) and Ms koh my sec sch D&T teacher. had a great time talking to each other and sharing how our lives has been so far. as usual we got rejected on treating our teacher. haha like 10 out of 10 times it happened. bring back memories when i together with them and laughed quite alot due to the things my frens do. haha. after which my 2 sec sch frens can to my hus and slacked. was like old times whn we always hang out tgt. but i must say. i have drifted away frm them for a distance. it me i guess...

well that aside...

been counting down to my NS enlistment. now im left wif 8 days (7 days to be accurate after i post this up). having mixed feeling of things around me. weirds...
well time for me to cont my countdown...

some things i find it true of wad my other frens said. you can nvr know wad will happen next. one action can have multiple outcomes. so still u will nvr know wad is truely right and truely wrong. so yea..

-you. if only i knew whats going on in there. if only you can share it with me. if only im able to provide a listening ear. if only im able to help you share your burden. if only you wont say its random. if only it can be like in the past where you share everything with me. if only...and i hope i can know... but i think im a stupid idiot and fool to think this way-

countdown 10 days

officially started my countdown to NS. 10 more days to 13 Jun
having mixed feelings. but oh wells..

played basketball again today wif the usual group. will count as the last time we will be playing basketball together for now. till we manage to find time to meet up again and exercise! =)
today was fun thou only 5 ppl turned up. at least i played well and up to my own standard. haha =p

that aside..

as everyone has been hearing on radio, words by others, and see it on news and TV charity shows. ppl frm nearly all around the world are helping the ppl in sichuan in any way they can. thou they have many deaths and casualties in short run. but i believe with all the help. i hope that the people will get out of this disaster and live their lives normally again. thou some wont be able to as they lost their most precious thing on earth. their family member...
enough said of sichuan. but i do not know if anyone noticed. there is no news abt the disaster in Myanmar. i believe the destruction is nearly the same as sichuan. but there is no news about it. why? its all due to their government i suppose. from what i know and heard. their government seem to be rejecting all the help that are offered to them. why?
thou for now their casualties are not high. but in the long run. more ppl will die after the water have cleared up. but debris and residue by the flood will remain. and thus leading to a possibility of disease outbreak there. which lead to ppl falling ill and die by it. so i wonder why they do not want help
thou both places have different situation and is handled differently. but one thing is common. innocent lives like small kids are endangered in both places by natural disaster.
so the bottom line is its lucky for us to be staying in Singapore where we are away from such disasters. and to all. live ur lives happily and as thou its ur last. as you will not know what will happen tml and the future =)

sneeze sneeze sneeze

crap. feeling crappy.. been sneezing for like nearly 24hr non-stop
feeling so sick. eyes pain due to lots of rubbing, feeling warm everytime and feeling very restless and all due to non-stop sneezing. cant concentrate on anything i do. wonder is my signus, my nose is too sensitive or some illness with my nose =S

but bottom line is it feels super uncomfortable. crap. blah!

had class gathering or to be specific class-cum-clique gathering bbq at YK house. Woot had been some time since we all gathered together like this. had a fun time talking to each other and catching up. miss the times we are together. seems like my organizing skills have not rust much after not planning for outings/gatherings for so long. thou had some minor hicups here and there. but all wnt according to plan.
well in 4 days time everyone will start to go into NS one by one. and i really gonna miss the time i have wif my frens (esp you more thn the rest =x) wonder whn will we have the time, energy and chance to meet up and all again. i hope the meet-up after the first 2 wks of confinement of everyone will happen and we can meet up with each other after the first 2 wks of confinment =)
well. gotta rest now. feeling light headed and slight giddiness and started to sneeze non-stop AGAIN!! argh!!

To you: Get plenty of rest and water and hope you get well soon! =)

off to dreamland...