take a look at my new blog address

http://dallaskhl.tumblr.com

well that blog posts will all be much shorter

its been 5 times since it started
and the results
5 failures
0 success

guess im the one always taking the fall..

all of a sudden

while stuck in camp alone doing duty

"something" just came to my mind after sometime of being low profile

and now i just cant get my mind off it...

if life can be like mangas/animes/dramas...

a definition that i find it interesting

people should be doubted.

doubt humans. question them, suspect them, take a good look into their hearts.

doubting people is simply a part of trying to get to know them.

"trust" is a noble act

but is actually giving up trying to understand others.

and that is nothing to do with "trust" but is rather "apathy"

-quote from liar game-

(meaning of apathy:

ap.a.thy

1. absence or suppression of passion, emotion, or excitement.

2. lack of interest in or concern for things that others find moving or exciting)

today is not a good day for me
everything is not going smoothly
having lots of errors all of a sudden
haix. a time of downturn...
haix =(

woah its been some time since i last blogged

well the fact is there is nth much things happened that allows me to blog about
ha..

everyday doing the same old cycle. becoming very very routine. so thats how boring my life is now.

well something interesing i found out about myself thru my own records. i just found out that i have records of hypotension (low blood pressure). gee. didnt know that. no wonder sometimes i feel a slight pinch of giddiness if i push myself to hard while running.

well. anw there is nth much happening. lets hope something fun will happen soon

itsbeensolong.
yetistillcantletgo.

its been some time. and my sprained leg is still feeling pain when i put pressure on it like running and jumping. guess i shld go for a check up on my leg to find out wads wrong. damn.

so how nowadays im living day by day letting it go by with no aims at all. just wasting my time day by day. is there any thing for me to aim and fight for? its just so pointless with nothing that i can aim to achieve or so. how i wish it can be like it use to be. where i have things to aim to. to improve on and to look forward to everyday. so aimless...

anw watched some shows and it just brought to my attention that humans really are complicated. we can do things easily but we at the same time chose not to do it as it is easier. like sometimes just saying a few more words like "please", "thanks", "welcome", "no problem" can show polite-ness and bring on a smile on a person, but we chose not to say it as an easier way to end conversations. and it not as polite and smiles will nvr appear.
also we can be easily contented and be happy. sometimes just small things/gestures/actions can make a person happy, but at the same time we always will try to achieve more to be happier. why cant we sometimes just be contented with what we have? why are we always trying to go higher and have more?

pardon me for this post. as sometimes wad things says in shows can be true. oh wells and i maybe just bored.. and trying to update something on my blog.

apprently im still holding on i don't know why...

its been quite some time i last remb i sprained my leg seriously. and today i apparently sprained it badly.

well i was going down the stairs, and while trying to avoid some ppl coming up and i missed a step and slipped, and my right leg landed in an awkward position.

following that i hear a "crack" sound popping from right leg. and after that i felt numbness in my leg. and at that moment i knew it. i have sprained my ankle.

yup and i was right. after taking out my boots. my ankle was already swollen and now it has swollen till quite big and having pains while i walk. oh wells. i guess its gonna take some time for it to heal.

and now it feels weird. as my ankle easily feels tight and like it can easily have the "cracking" sound.

hope nothing serious is happening

ok time to clean up some dust and maybe cobwebs from my blog.
i just notices its near 1 mth since i last blogged. guessed im too lazy and didnt have anything much to blog about too anyways.

been too lazy to blog and end up playing games or watching HK dramas.
oh btw i started to start studying for SAT. but not making any good progress thou. not really studying much as i wanted to. hopefully i can get more motivations.

anw. rite. went to COMEX 2009 yesterday. as usual crowded and packed like sardines. esp its a wkend. didnt really went there and have a look ard. wnt there. straight to creative booth. get my new zen x-fi 2 mp3 player. and im out of there. dont really want to go around squeezing with the other ppl.

after that. headed down to bugis to have a game of gundam senjo no kizuna. for more info of this arcade game. the webby link is below:
http://www.gundam-kizuna.jp/english/index.html
quite an interesting game. but abit ex thou. so card afford to really play alot. only one game. unlike some gundam anime geeks there. having who knows where they get the money from. and camping there for a machine.

after that is back home and start to explore my new mp3.

well thats much about it recently. nth perculiar happening. so explains my out-dated blog.
hope i can be active enough to update more

its been a long time since i met you
been some time i really talk to you
i wonder when can it all happen again...

i have reached the end of the road.
now lost with no where and no idea to go
why am i so stupid to continue knowing whats at the end with all the pieces i have and guessing it correctly.

i guess the emptiness within me will nvr be filled.
after all. everything, after trying so hard. really ended up only as my wishful thinking.
guess no happy fairy tale ending can ever happen to me.
numb? blocked out? i do not know.

i guess its time for me to fall back into darkness and my old emo self once more.
blocking everything out with a fake mask of smile.

end...
for those who do not understand this feeling and do not know anything at all. pls save ur comments to yourself

jigsaw puzzle pieces falls into place
the picture is out with just a guess
all the best
my blessings...

something is on my mind right now.
i wonder what im thinking now is true.
if i can just have more clues.
if i can just ask you directly.
it seems alot of things are going in thru my head now.
i wonder if they are true.
if only i can just ask you.
envious...

i just hope that if there is anything i can know
the truth?
so that all knots will be untied...

blah...

i guess if anything happens i wont be missed by anyone. crap...

semi- personal post coming up

firstly. a insperational video i came across on facebook. if only i had saw this vid sooner. maybe...
http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/video/video.php?v=103965021495&ref=nf

now maybe i will be happier? never know...

if only i can just talk to you.
if only i can do something to know what is going on.
if only i can just be by your side.
if only i can do such things for you.
if only...

New english album by Utada Hikaru. one song that really stuck in my head and i find it real nice. below is the song

Utada Hikaru - Apple and Cinnamon
--------------------------------------
Tell me what is on your mind
Help me because I'd like to know
What the hell is going on
Never thought I'd sing this song

Lets not get started with
The he said she said
Sometimes it just doesn't go as planned
Lets not get started with
The he said she said
Sometimes it just doesn't go as planned

Started out so simple and innocent
So simple and innocent
(So simple and innocent)
(So simple and innocent)

Chemistry like apple and cinnamon
Like apple and cinnamon
(Like apple and cinnamon)
(Like apple and cinnamon)

I can't believe that you and me were falling out of love
And everybody used to be so envious of us

Chemistry like apple and cinnamon
What we had was just to good, good to last

Happiness don't last that long
What we had was beautiful

Lets not get started with
The he said she said
Sometimes it just doesn't go as planned

Started out so simple and innocent
So simple and innocent
(So simple and innocent)
(So simple and innocent)

Chemistry like apple and cinnamon
Like apple and cinnamon
(Like apple and cinnamon)
(Like apple and cinnamon)

I can't believe that you and me were falling out of love
And everybody used to be so envious of us

Chemistry like apple and cinnamon
What we had was just to good, good to last

Please don't look at me like that
Please don't look at me, don't look at me like that
You can't look at me like that
Please don't look at me, don't look at me like that

I can't believe that you and me were falling out of love
And everybody used to be so envious of us

Chemistry like apple and cinnamon
What we had was just to good

Started out so simple and innocent
So simple and innocent
(So simple and innocent)
(So simple and innocent)

Chemistry like apple and cinnamon
Like apple and cinnamon
(Like apple and cinnamon)
(Like apple and cinnamon)

I can't believe that you and me were falling out of love
And everybody used to be so envious of us

Chemistry like apple and cinnamon
What we had was just to good, good to last

somehow it seems like weekend always pass by very fast. and weekdays very slow.
why is it so?
is like a blink of an eye is time for me to go back.

how i wish i can have the control from the show "click" then i can fast forward my current lifestyle away. haix.

getting all moody...

missyaso....

my 21st bday party at my house was a great success.

thanks to all those that came and attended the party! =))
and thanks for all the presents. well at least i got one oof my wishlist presents. a DSLR camera! haha. Canon 450D EOS. Time for me to experiment with it and play ard with it. haha.

well shall rest up. tired frm all the running ard. thanks once again to all

if only you were here...

ok im offically sick.
went to the doc today. and it seems i have caught a NORMAL flu. thank goodness for that. coz was scared it will turn out to be h1n1. but its not. phew

had a fever of 38.0 degrees. quite high actually. and was given MC for 6 days. so in other words 1 whole week at home to rest myself up.

well. i guess the lack of sufficent slp has finally taken a toll on my body and immune system. well. time for me to get back some of my rest now.

Haha. Been some time since i last updated my blog. Was too busy playing with my ps3 and reading online mangas and was lazy to update. Haha
Anw can start counting down to one of a happening event this week. Haha. 6 more days. Wheee.
Somehow the new iphone 3gs is tempting me to buy it. Haha. If only i can get it as my present. Wahaha. *evil grin*
Besides this nothing much happened lately. Feeling quite uncomfortable now. Sense that im falling sick soon. Sensing a fever coming up. Feeling damn warm internally and sorethroat. Crap. Juz hope is nothing serious

finally im back.
3 weeks out of singapore. really miss home. and now im finally back!
well. been quite an experience trip.

well now tats is finally over. next thing that i will look forward to will be my very own 21th bday, which is juz round the corner. however still in the process of how to celebrate.
as for bday presents. hmmm. cant really think of much for now below are just some suggestions. haha

*some quite impossible bday presnts*
- a DSLR camera
- a HD tv (lolx)
- a nitendo DS (this is quite a random one i suddenly think of which i dont really have high desire to have)
- an iphone (another random one. but i dont mind having one if really have. ha)
- a ps3 game? (yet another random)

more or less just some random things that i thought of. overall is the thoughts that counts. haha
now is time for me to have some rest.

well i do have an ultimate bday present that i wish for.
but shall not say

Finally manage to get a quick use of the net
Will be back home soon. In like another 3 more days and will touch down at ard 7+am. Cant wait to go home. Miss my bed and my room
Well hope to see everyone soon!

off to brunei soon..
back on 26th which is 3wks. wish me all the best.

gonna miss lots of things and you

people have told me many different things
i wish to follow what they say and im reall trying to
however everything is just not falling into place
i am really reaching my limit
i am really scared that im losing it soon. losing my sanity
i am scared now...

Give me a box...
Give me a small room where i can be alone and isolate myself...
Feeling all stressed up...
If only i have a small room to myself where i can de-stress by letting my tears flow for abit...

quick summary of my week...

Outfield from tues to thur - no comments about it
Watched Distant Worlds: Music from Final Fantasy orchestra concert at esplanade yesterday - Truely Awsome
Bought my long awaited PS3 yesterday - finally burden is gone
well thats a short and quick summary of my week

not to mention been feeling quite down this week due to some incident(s)
well i donno wad i shld say about it
all i know is i hope i can recover both mentally and physically..

Oh and not to mention my uni applications are all rejected again...

some how sometimes i just feel like talking abt things to someone.
but somehow i just cant find anyone that can allow me to do this
it just seems that every phase of my life i have a period where things just starts to bottle up
it seems that i tried. but yet it seems i didnt
now i have no idea which path to take
i guess im tired once more after all these tries...
how i wish im able to share my bottled thoughts...

not a good week for me...
actually is juz tiring week for me.
didnt really have much rest this week. thus i think is the cause of my heat exhaustion today morning.

having a heat exhaustion is no fun at all. felt totally energy-less. and all my limbs were all numb and have totally no energy to do anything. not even stand up. oh not to mention. i felt hot and cold not stop. its like im feeling hot. the next min im feeling cold. the next min im feeling hot again. the experience totally sucks.

well had 2 bags of IV drips. felt much better after that. so i guess everything is fine now.

David Archuleta - Crush
--------------------------

I hung up the phone tonight
Something happened for the first time
Deep inside it was a rush, what a rush

Cause the possibility
That you would ever feel the same way
About me, just too much, just too much

Why do I keep running from the truth?
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized
And I just got to know

Do you ever think when you're all alone
All that we can be, where this thing can go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it really just another crush?

Do you catch a breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
Cause I've tried and tried to walk away
But I know this crush ain't going away-ay-ay
Going away-ay-ay

Has it ever crossed your mind
When we're hanging, spending time girl?
Are we just friends? Is there more? Is there more?

See it's a chance we've gotta take
Cause I believe that we can make this into
Something that will last, last forever, forever!

Do you ever think when you're all alone
All that we could be, where this thing could go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it really just another crush?

Do you catch a breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
Cause I've tried and tried to walk away
But I know this crush ain't going away-ay-ay
Going away-ay-ay

Why do I keep running from the truth?
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized
And I just got to know

Do you ever think when you're all alone
All that we could be, where this thing could go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it really just another crush?

Do you catch a breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
Cause I've tried and tried to walk away
But I know this crush ain't going away-ay-ay
This crush ain't going away-ay-ay

Going away
Going away-ay-ay
Going away-ay-ay


nice song. think this song was like out for quite some time. only now i manage to find it. as the pass few times when i heard it. either i forgot the song title or forgot to search for it. ha

HAPPY MOTHERS' DAY to all mom out there
esp to my very own mom =))

somehow this week after booking out. i feel quite emo for wad reason i dont know. is it stress im feeling now?

it feels that im invisible and whether im around or not is not important at all. to the extent where even if im to juz walk away no one will even notice at all. and in the end be forgotten. it just seems that only when im needed to help do something where i will juz pop back up in ppl mind and i will not be invisible. However rite after the thing is done. *poof* im inivisble again for who knows how long again before im needed.
all these juz seem to show how insignificant i am and how unimportant i am to everyone. well i donno. all these juz feel so de javu. like being all alone once again with no one around me. and all the things i did are all back to square one...

random...

somehowsometimesireallywishtotalktoyou
howeveritjuzseemsicantevenifitried
juzwhenitfeelsdifferent
everythingisnowbacktohowitwasbefore
iguessimjustnotasclose
ifonlyicanjustsaythisout...

another long weekend for me due to labour day. whee. haha. but somehow this long weekend seem to go past very fast. haix. and next thing i know i gotta go back again.

well anw didnt really do much during this weekend expect for going out. haha did nothing much too.

well wnt for supper juz now at katong HK cafe and did something interesting. and you can see from the photo below. haha

i believe many of u have see this trick b4 of the dollar note "smiling" but why am i emphazing on this photo. is all due to the fact that i used my camera phone face detection and smile shutter function and to our surprise it recognise it as a smile and *snap* off goes my camera. haha. well i guess that the most interesting thing happened to me this week.

well. not i shall go emo till my time is up to go back....

wonder when?
go out?

finally after so long. i manage to finally have a long wkend and relax myself.
after having my long wkends to be interrupted by godzillion guard duties. finally for once this week i do not have any duties. woo hoo!

well. shall really take this time to rest up as the following month i will be sure i will be damn shag every week as i will have outfields every single week till i go Brunei (more outfields) for training. well hope everything will be ok for me

i start to wonder is it me to cause it?
why do i ask?
cause im scared of history repeating itself once more

been a while since i last posted here. been busy and dont really have much time to update. heh heh

well past month had been nothing much expect for lots of physical trainings. been tiring me out recently. thus making me abit lazy to update too. heh

well. things wont be better anytime soon. with all the out fields coming out. guess i will be even more tired in future. heh

but well shall take things one step at a time. come to think of it in 2 mths time it will be 1 yr since i enlisted into army. well. time seem to pass fast. but yet slow. oh wells .juz hope everything for the better.

wish you to get well soon
and all the best for your studies!
go out soon!

Seriously this week had been a long and tiring week for me. Doing 3 physical trainings everyday. Im all shagged out now. And not to mentioned the doc said i had over strained my left calf muscle. Thus explains the pain i feel half way thru the week
Next week the whole cycle will repeat again. Haix =(

finally a long wkend for me. gonna do some resting up and prepare for certain things next week.nothing to say. all except that the rashes i suspected last wk was wrong. those were sand flies bite all over me. got cream to apply. seen improvments but still itces madly frm time to time. legs are more or less recovered. so left the itch to get rid off. blah...

The fact is that i still have feelings towards you
who am i bluffing when i say all that...
and thats so it hurts...

argh. not a good week for me this week...

firstly only manage to book out today at 6am due to the det live firing yest and only got 2hr of slp. thats not all. after the live firing and is like an out-field kind now i got some things like rashes all over my right leg and the right side of my back. and the itch is juz damn irritating and uncomfortable. argh! =(

if u think thats all. theres more. on my fri jump. my first jump was alright. but not the same for my 2nd one. my 2nd jump i landed on the runway of the airstrip and due to the strong wind i landing on my butt and taking majority of the impact. and now theres pain from sitting and walking and oso due to the akaward landing. i oso strained my left thigh. haix

all these add tgt and is super uncomfortable. haix i juz hope the rashes things can juz clear fast

somehow i can guess but,
somehow i just still cant let go,
somehow i think im just stupid
somehow i think im just dumb
somehow i miss you
somehow i still...

Having running nose, signus, sneezing, coughing and headache all coming together feels like crap. Adding on to it training under rain crawling ard on wet grass. Whole uniform wet and damp brings it to the next level. Just hope that i will not feel worse tml.

Haha how bored can i be... Currently watching the 81st oscars awards in guard room and blogging haha.
Cool tough fight between slumdog millionair and the curious case of benjimine buttons. Shall watch the latter soon

yet another lonely year of valentine's day. haha. it juz feels different on tis special occasion and im in army. haha. maybe is juz me
wonder when will be the time when i will not celebrate a lonely valentine's day. haha

well. nothing much this week. pretty slack. except for the fact tat my specs flew off while i was doing my airborne jump from a C-130 plane. but at least i got my wings. haha

next 2 weeks gonna be a low moral and depressing week as i will need to burn 2 of my sat away for the following 2 sat coming up. haix. crap

well. nothing much left. so i wish all a happy valentine's day!

The only thing i can do now is ........
but i donno......
will my decision be right....

been a long week for me...

was out on the field for 5 days this weeks. and thus explained me lacking of sleep for all 5 days. having less thn 5 hours of sleep everyday. as i need to be on 24hr standby as a cover medic for the senior companies for their outfield exercise. Ex Falcon 2.
so is not easy being a cover medic as i always need to be prepared for a casualty at anytime for all 5 days for 24hours. heh

and thats not all. i only manage to book out today due to me doing COS duty. to put it simple is something like clerk duty for 24hr. doing works ranging from admin paperwork to answering phone calls. but at least i get to rest in an air-con room. haha. a bonus for me.

now this can be said a last min post/update before booking in to camp earlier this week at 2000. haix. long and tiring week for me. and next week will have an outfield exercise. guess i will be quite shagged out next week. but oh well.

oh ya i oso got stung by a bee after i camp back from the 5 days outfield. lol. how unlucky can i be. haha.

hopeiwillbeabletoaskuoutthiscomingsat
ifthatistohappeniguessiwontbetiredanymore

im tried due to lack of rest that i reqquired.

feeling like crap...

Wish everyone out there a Happy Lunar Niu(牛) year
May all your wishes come true!

祖大家新年快乐。牛年刑大运
恭喜发财。万事如意！

Shag day for me. But oh wells its normal here...
Well cant watch the live telecast of the new us president barrack obama swear in as the 44th us president. Least i manage to watch the news abt it.
I do believe tat he can make changes in his era. And things can be amended and change for the better. The process will be slow. But a change will be there.
So now is the obama era. And you have my fullest support.
Your time is now!
3 cheers for the new us president and his vision!

quite a slack week this week.
prepared for ATP and had ATP test this week

but sadly didnt manage to get my marksmanship badge which i have been aiming and wanting to get ever since i start my ns life. but sadly i still didnt manage to achieve my this objective. haix

didnt really had slp for pass 2 days due to tight schedule. therefore feel kinda tired yet not tired.

did some last min shopping to get my new year clothes today. mange to get wad i wanted. but spend quite abit. so gotta start saving till my next pay. haha

alrite shall stop and get some rest. tired Zzzzzz

will you be free on 140209?
wish i have the chance to be able to ask u out then
fingers crossed

long week for me. due to the fact that its been a long time since i book out on sat.
and its been a tiring week wif all the exercises and "games" we play at night

for now everything is still ok. the worse is yet to come. and i predict in future i will be more shag and tired

but for now i hope everything goes well and go day by day

pray u can get well soon!
hope to meet u soon

funny vid below:



its meant to be a joke. so have fun watching!

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE OUT THERE!
2008 has finally come to an end. and now its the year of 2009!

i shall do a short recap on the major events that happened in 2008:

• It was a busy year for me as during the first quarter of 2008 i was still rushing and being busy with my major project along side with my grp mates. remembering the time where we stayed till late in sch to complete and reach a certain milestone before we call it a day. and even rushed all the way down to Jurong to get help.
• Then it was my Poly graduation ceremony. at that time of the day i really felt reluctant to leave TP as all my good memories with with frens and those enjoyable days were there. I was both happy and sad at the same time.
• Next was a long break for me before i got enlisted on 13 Jun 2008 to serve my National Service for my next 2 years and it marks the next phase of my life. Enlisted to the Commandos formation. Well i donno what i shld feel. whether to be happy as i joined the most elite formation in the army or shld i feel otherwise. but never the less i still gotta to serve my these 2 years.
• Lastly, its my dearest bud's 21st bday. and party at her house. too bad i cant stay for long.

Thats all or more or less the major events in 2008 for me. many major turning points happened during this year.Not to forget a certain thing i did and confessed during this year which actually changed quite abit of things too and up till now i guess it will be brought forward to 2009.

now is the start of a new year, 2009 and i hope that everything this year will go smoothly and i can enjoy whatever i can. wish everyone a happy and blasting good year ahead. and all your wishes come true!