im offically a coporal now. after todays combined passing out parade to signify we completing our vocational training phase.

todays parade was tiring due to the long standing under the sun. but after a long wait. my coporal rank is dawned upon my sleeves. feel kinda proud to be promoted. but oso this marks the start of my next phase of NS life. detechment training in 1st commando battalion. and like was said to us. "Welcome to the battalion. Training wont get easier, it will only get tougher." and in our eye/ minds. this means "Welcome to hell, and your hell starts now."
well maybe i will be wrong i nvr know. but wad i really know is my life in NS will only get tougher now. and i will cont to have the image of going thru "hell" in my mind till further circumstances that MAY change my attitude.

for now i shall get my rest and mentally prepared.

O.O

and btw interesting application i saw on someone blog. interesting how they do it.

my motivation? juz cant stop wondering...

Merry Chirstmas and a Happy New Year to everone! may all your wishes come true in the new year!

whee. its this time of the year again. where streets are filled with chirstmas spirits and love of couples all ard. its a nice cooling weather and yet heart warming season. how i wish the there are more of this kind of festive seasons. haha

ok that aside. celebrated my xmas wif some frens. went to minds cafe and played a card game called 'bang'. an interesting game, and quite fun to play. after which went to catch a mid night movie of 'yes man'. quite an interesting show, and not to mantion is funny, well the main actor is jim carrey. so its a funny and nice comedy show.
After the movie did a little gift exchange among the grp of frens. got my present on last mind thou. haha. after tat headed home. not a bad way to spent my christmas night.

oh btw, i must have not been to central for a freaking long time. coz i didnt know there is a another shopping centre at clark quay. called 'The Central'. god i must have start to explore the central of singapore once again. and will be going to explore the central again sometime soon. to have a look around.

now i shall get some sleep...

wish everyone a merry chirstmas and a happy new year!
hopetogooutwithyasometime

will everything just come to an end this manner???

stuck in my head like forever... crap...

back and alive!! haha

juz did my first live decent today from a chinook(for those who donno is the chopper u always see during NDP that has the singapore flag hung on it) the distance above ground was 1000ft (ard 400m)

well while i was there got a mixture of feelings, scared and excited. but while i was in the aircraft and waiting to get to the altitude and my turn to jump. all i was thinking was fear frm the hight. coz its quite high. haha.

when its finally my turn. i got no time at all to think "oh its my turn alrdy and im scared" the next sec i know is im in the air and having heart beat racing all over the shop. haha but once the parachute is opened everything was ok and was aiming for the grass patch below me for a soft and safe landing. and here i am. safe and sound and ok. heh heh

all i can say is a good and well deserved experience. i have never tot of me jumping out frm a plane or so wif a parachute. and here i am. i did it! heh heh. quite looking forward to my next jump. woo! haha

2 more days. And counting. Getting more and more nervous and scared of injury more as day goes by. Hope i will come back ok. Haha

3 more days till 1000ft above ground. Feeling nervous, anxious and excited as i will not know wad to expect. Hope everything will go well and good weather

Been a week since the start of my basic airborne course. All i can say now is this course is uber tiring. Both physically and mentally demanding. For now im looking forward both excited and nervous of my live decent next thur.
Now currently suffering from a mild concussion due to the frequent hitting my head on the floor due to the impacts. And aside from that oso having muscle aches on my neck and hip and thighs and having some pains while walking. Last but not least have a bruise on my inner left knee which is the size of three 50 cents coin. Cant imagine i have this much injury. Heh
Well for now all i want is to jump out and get my badge

in a few hours time will be going back to camp. and back to doing my airborne drills.
feeling damn depressing going back to camp. and now demorlize once again.

hmmm. wonder wad can get my moral up again?
well actually i think i have the answer to this question myself. heh
hope days till my live decent will come fast.

-maybe im not as mature as i seems...-
-i donno what i shld say now. whatever-

having stiff neck now...

somehow feeling a little disappointed now...
thinking back to those times when names were called
how i wish it can happen just again

now im a 5 mth soldier.
no longer a Recruit, no longer a Private. now im a Corporal. finally i have something on my sleeve. haha. but then im will still be treated like a Recruit. so it dont really make much difference to my life. oh wells...

today is my first day of my Basic Airborne Course. all i can say for now is. its super shag and tiring. and the drills looks easy. but somehow its not as easy as it seems to execute it. and now my neck, my waist and my shoulders are all aching and my knee and part of my shoulder oso alrdy has bruise on it. but well im looking forward to the tower jump and the actual live decent frm an air plane 10000ft above ground.

now i shall stop and go rest...

-Hope that i have chance to ask u out -

3 more days. ahhhhhh.... i dont want to go back to camp!!!

man really miss my poly days. when passing by TP or seeing poly students in the public juz make me think back my own poly days and really miss them. how nice that can turn back time juz to relive those fun times again. where everything is in your own control. total freedom. and can mend some mistakes that can be avoided. like being hardworking starting frm yr 1 instead of starting in yr 2. heh heh.

well every year in my poly days seem so much fun. really want to relive it man. heh heh

now is go on wif my army life wif minimal freedom. hoping will zoom by fast. heh heh.
remb saying this to myself whn i was in poly that hoping the 3 yrs will fly pass fast. now i regret that and shld had hoped for it to be slow. heh heh.

oh wells. life still goes on. those will be good and nice memories that will last forever =)

-soon it will be ur turn-
-how is it now?-

finally a one week break for me frm all the training and all.

soon starting my airborne phase.

hmmm. once again im stress over wad i want. esp after hearing somethings from an instructor. i really wonder how long can i keep up. the criteria seems far to reach. thou i know i have constently reach all the criteria so far. but im really pressured on not being able to reach it sooner or later. this pressure juz keeps coming everytime a new criteria is announced.. and with the 2 most tiring tasks coming up next year. it even pressure me more to keep up with the rest and the pace
esp now im having a phobia of barbed wire due to me falling straight into the middle of a barbed wire. therefore leading to my current phobia of falling into it again. dang

well i juz hope somethings can happen to help me get back my confidence and motivation to push on. but i must say i have no idea hw have i survived for nearly 6mth now. haha. kinda glad abt it too thou..

-请告诉她我还想她.-
-reminiscing the past. puts a smile on me. =)-
-guess some motivation is you?-

shit happens...

im soo not looking forward to this sun.. crap

unless i get my repayment i wont mind coz that will all me to do extra stuffs.. haix

why do i always get this kind of shit... blah =((

woohoo. finally my medic course has ended. but kinda sad tat it ends so fast. and will really gonna miss my time during my medic course. but wad to do. life still goes on.

got my medic arm band. looks cool. haha. well at least now i got something on my uniform. haha. soon i will be getting another one. haha

next week is gonna do alot of errands to help other ppl who are on course and help them with thier exercises and all. but well will look forward to my 1 wk break after that. haha

i really hope now i can get attached to HQ to be a medic over there. lots of reason why i want and lots of ppl thinking of the same as me. haha. but oh wells. shall see how things go.

Finally my medic course has ended. Will be having a graduation ceremony tml to get our scroll of certificate(kinda like uni) haha. And will get my medic arm band. Heh heh
Had our last and final IV injection. And is the worse and most painful IV. due to the fact my muscle and nerve was poked. Now my left arm is damn pain. Having the bruise feeling. Even juz brushing my finger over it is damn pain. So guess will be doing most work on my right arm only for a few days. Shall stop here and post again after book out. Shall go for my nights out now. Heh heh

Whee hoo! Finally my basic airborne course selection test is over. And the best thing of it is i manage to pass it, thou having some pressure and set backs on not being able to pass my push up station. But never the less i manage to pass. Whee!
This means i will be going for my basic airborne course which will start on 3rd dec (damn why it start on this date. Dang. Abit sad. Cant execute my plan. Haha)
Another good news will be i will be getting my back pay after my medic course. Double yeah! Haha
Ok super uber tired. Shall slp and rest now...

first week of medic combat phase. tiring carrying heavy loads ard. as we learnt how to carry casulties to evacuate them. and i sprain my back while doing one of the pratice. haha. lucky for me it was only a minor sprain. had back ache when i do any body movements for the past 2 days. now still having some minor aches, but well its recovering.

in another 3 more days i will be taking my Basic Airborne Selection Test. im damn scared that i will fail the test due to my pushups. but well i juz hope i can pass. even thou is juz barely pass, but still pass. haha

soon medic course will come to an end, then is next phase of my training, Airborne course, provided i pass the test. haha

well not really looking forward to it, as im still emo-ing of my path and feeling tired still. so i donno...

imissyou

once again i have reach another cross road in my life. and once again im lost...

there are so many paths in front of me. but which one shld i choose? shld i continue down my current path or change to something else?

seriously the current life im having now is hitting me hard. esp after thinking what i will be required to do in future. now im seriously stressed out in thinking what i really want...

somehow i relly feel very sian about my current life and starting to get emo over it. damn. seriously now i donno what thing can motivate me again or make me happy. wish i can find one soon. coz im really very lost now...

something funny. now i know why some guys said that they want to find a girl-friend before they enter NS. and i mean some is really SOME. maybe one reason why some guys want or so desprately want to find a gf is coz so tat well maybe can whine to them when they hit a cross road like mine? but well i to be frank i doubt that its a solid reason. but it MIGHT juz be one of the few many possible reasons...
but oh well. for me. i guess i will juz still stick to the time and let it show whn its right...

for now. i feel like a caged bird flapping around in a small cage trying to break out of the cage any moment and any chance it has.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

-Small note to YOU: take care and pls have sufficient rest and not to overwork yourself and fall sick. any whining juz feel free to msg me or so by any means. juz a short message away. Good luck and all the best! =) -

ok now i have officially come to a point of dillusions in my head.

whether or not to continue down the commandos path. with some of my mates oso having this dillusions it have hit me too now.

I really wonder if i will be able to take it and continue the path. as some things that will happen in future i really do not know if i will be able to not fall out and complete the event. i am really now doubting my physical, and mental strength.
So far i have only barely brisk pass all the criteria to move on to the phase of commando training. i am now thinking how long more can i keep up doing this. i think at one point of time i will really not be able to meet the requirement to continue on.

seriously now all my motivations are all slowly disappearing and i do not know when my mind will just tell me to give up totally. it may happen anytime i suppose. and seriously im tired. both mentally and physically with all the non-stop training.. i really wish to have a good rest. but i cant..

now i can say im really stressed and not sure what i want. it really getting too physical and mentally demanding for me. what shld i do? feeling very stress now...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What if i say...
What if i say...
What if i say...
What if i say...
What if...

finally a long rest for me.

been busy for the past few weeks due to lots of test to prepare for with the little time i have. even wkends were burned juz to study and prepared for the tests. damn

but oh wells guess it paid off now. manage to book out yesterday and booking in on mon night. so its a long weekend rest for me.

finally able to organize and clear up some of my things (desktop, laptop, blog, etc.) and of coz the slp that i can get to recover myself. where i can slp till late and not waking up at 5am everyday. haha.

well next week onwards will be more tiring i guess as it will be the combat phase in medic course. where i think most likely we will be doing lots of carrying of stratchers and casulty evacuations. but oh wells. looking forward to another short week next week. haha.

that aside...

now still struggling on wad i shld prepare to buy. a ps3 or a DSLR camera. and whether to get which camera phone. shld i get samsung innov 8 or wait for sony ericsson C905 to come to singapore. the main difference i find is the flash of the camera. decisions decisions decisions. haha

well shall stop here and continue to organize my stuffs.

- To you/yous: its not i do not want to meet up and all. my time is very tight recently and im do not have much free time to go out and all. and i do not have control of my time in actual fact. it maybe planned whn im suppose to book out. but anything can happen along the way of the week so i can nvr give a confirm decision if i will be free at a particular day. Further more, when i was asked to meet up i was in camp so u cant blame me for not meeting up and all. so if u will kindly understand the situation im in. thanks alot. time is really not on my side and esp my control now... -

Was a long week after so long as this week booked out on Sat. which is today. due to the need for me to retake my IPPT as i didnt achieve commando silver last time due to my standing board jump. Well didnt really sleep well last nite as i was sleeping on the floor and woke up nearly every hour. so didnt really had a full rest. but never the less i still manage to perform today during the test. gotta to say made an achievement as all my static stations improved esp for my standing board jump. from 232cm. i improved to 238cm. WOOT!
HOWEVER, my 2.4km run deproved like ard 40secs. haha. guess i have not been running for a long time. thus getting this result. haha. but all that said. i finally manage to achieve commando silver. AND this means no extra training for me. MEANS no burning away of my weekends. WOOT!
haha. that aside
Had 2 tests this week. anatomy and physiology test. and Automated External Defibillator (AED). Anatomy and physiology test was a killer for me as i could not remember all the things in the textbook. but never the less i manage to pass. haha. and passed the AED test too and manage to get another certificate for the use of AED. Those who donno wad is an AED. shall explain abit at the bottom along with a picture of how it looks like.

 

How an AED looks like

What is an AED?
ANS: An automated external defibrillator or AED is a portable electronic device that automatically diagnoses the potentially life threatening cardiac arrhythmias (abnormal electrical activity in the heart. The heart beat may be too fast or too slow, and may be regular or irregular) of ventricular fibrillation (a condition in which there is uncoordinated contraction of the cardiac muscle of the ventricles in the heart, making them tremble rather than contract properly) and ventricular tachycardia(fast heart rhythm that originates in one of the ventricles of the heart) in a patient,and is able to treat them through defibrillation, the application of electrical therapy which stops the arrhythmia, allowing the heart to reestablish an effective rhythm.

To sum everything up and to put things simple as it may seem too complex. The AED is used when a heart is pumping too fast or too slow to have blood circulations to the whole body, thus, electric current is sent to the heart to make it stop and is then restarted using CPR to help the patient or casulty to get back his/her normal heart beat so that blood can again be pumped to the whole body. hope this is simple enough. haha.

well. thats about all for this week. next week will have another 2 more tests on assessing a patient/casulty. However, im looking forward to next week as i will have an early book out next week. WOOT!

alright. shall stop here. time for me to rest my body...

[Edited as at 10 Oct 2008]

Juz did my first intravenous infusion. Was really a fun and interesting experience. Doing the thing on others is fun but is scary for the first time. But is not as hard as i think it will be. But being done on is abit pain well looking forward to the next time. For those who donno wad is Intravenous infusion. Is actually a generic term and it means to inject liquid into a body by using a tube inserted into the vain. and the simplest way i can put it is. the drips that is attached to a patient u all always see in hospital or drama shows. That the simplest way i can put it in. haha
well this week did 2 times successfully. and i still have to successfully do another 8 more times for me to pass my medic course. but overall is a nice experience on learning how to do such a thing.

next is i gotta study for my anatomy and physiology test. which basically tests on the human body parts ranging frm the skeltons to the internal organs and their functions. kinda scared of this test coz there are lots of things to remember, and memorising things is one of my weakest part in studying.

well for now i hope i can juz pass all the test with no stress or difficulty. haha

Oh man going to have my first test. Back to my poly time feeling when is exam period. Haha
Now trying to memorise everything i can since it will be both theory and practical test tml. Hope i can do well
Not been feeling well for past few days due to lack of rest. Been coughing non stop and having on and off headaches. And coughing and sneezing will trigger my headache. Feeling damn sucky. Hope wont affect my test much tml...

summary of first week in medic course in Nee Soon Camp.

as said previously. got 13 textbooks to study. but so far everything is easy. except the memorising of medical terms which is hell lot. haha

well. mainly this week learnt mostly on bandaging and stopping hemorrhages and how to stop it. intersting lessons. and im really glad and happy i get into medic course since i can learn all this. cool =)

that aside...

now the new camp environment. everything is goooood. esp the bunk. is super windy and slping at nite nvr felt so good before. is like having a natural aircon at nite. with the cool wind blowing into our bunk, making it really comfortable to sleep in. the platoon sergent is oso a nice fella. a guy that can joke around with and good to talk with. so overall i guess my stay in nee soon camp will be good and rewardable.

lastly PT here is slack. but guess our platoon motivation is good and always do our own PT and regime. and the most "shiong" one was thurs. after doing the afternoon PT on thur. it felt like i was back in PTP phase when i just started PT in army and felt damn tired after that. haha. but it was worth while and good for me. hee

with all tat said. shall stop and get my rest...

-before that. if u guys have that decision. so be it. i can just f-off frm ur lives. im too lazy to argue anything. and shant before im being said back again. so shall save each others trouble and shant drag any further. breaking off.. free? maybe..bye!-

Now i finally understand why my frens who went NS earlier then me says study is much better. Now i finally understand it. Is like there is no stress and everything is so relax and at our own pace. I really miss the life of studying. Thou im so called studying now. But everything is so rush. How i wish i can just have some time to slow down the pace and back to poly life or just relax.
man miss it...
Miss lots of things other then tat too. Like outings and ppl like “darling“, and other guys and lastly esp YOU!
Well now all i can do is wait and think and hope such time to relax can come

today platoon outing was fine. had a good time talking to my ex-platoon 3 mates and having fun cathing up with them.

oso finally manage to see staff jimmy since he is on leave for the this week. and wont be seeing him for 8 weeks starting from monday since i go over to nee soon camp alrdy. after which had a fun time exploring a part of singapore wif some of the gang. it was an eye-opener and interesting, but is abit scary thou. haha. However, after some time things turned bad between 2 ppl and everything was in a bad shape. so i guess programs after that are cancelled. haix. well everyone is tired from training so i guess its normal for everyone to be easily flared up. hope things will turn out better...

now is time for me to rest too...

before that. TO YOU. jia you for your assignments. dont overwork youself and have sufficent rest. you can do it. all the best!

come to think of it. i should have striked when the iron was hot. haix. stupid me...

Back from a 2 day 1 night navigation trip in tekong. With just a super outdated map and a compass. Walked from day Till night wif a total distance covered Of 16km and ended at ard 2am. Super shag and tired due to all the walking and bashing thru of vegetation.
Now i shall rest and recover. Super shag...

Private life is really different from recruit life. With lots of free time on our hands.
And after looking back. Now i understand why ppl say bmt is the phase of ns that is the most fun. Coz that is where we know new ppl and had fun and suffered together. Now i miss my bmt platoon 3. But never the less the platoon 3 spirit will remain. Haha
Now everything will be different in our course training. And thinking things now i hope i can do my best and achieve something. Haha.
All the best for my training.
-miss...-

booking in an hours time. the feeling now is different somehow. i do not know why. maybe coz is no longer BMT and things will be diff? more slack? tougher? more tiring i will not know. only time will show and can only find out in future. but still i hope to do my best in my Vocational course since its my interest. haha

hmmm. out of the sudden i feel myself being stupid coz thinking of a certain again. i donno why i think im starting to miss a certain someone again. its weird. guess is due to the fact that i manage to meet this certain someone after a long time and made me feel this way again. starting to miss you...ok think im just dumb to be thinking this way again. and im just silly to keep thinking of this certain someone. heh. but well its the fact that im starting to miss this certain someone again and i wont deny it. even if im dumb and stupid... well i donno... heh...

Finally after 3 months of hard work and training. today was my POP but before the parade was a 24km route march. however manage to overcome tat can cleared the route march thou it was tiring. but the parade of us "graduating" from the BMT phase juz revitalised us. and wearing the jungle hat was Whoa! no words to describe the feelings. haha. but i must be happy tat i manage to pass BMT and continue to stay in commandos. yeah! and now to the next phase of my NS life. commando vocational training and im posted to commandos medic for my vocational training which i wanted. hope i can learnt lots of things from there and can be applied outside when needed. wish me luck! =D

 
 

My instructors: 1SG Haresh, 2WO Kenny Chua, 1SG Bernard

Last event before my pop and tat is a 24km route march which will start in 12 hour time. Hope can complete it wif no problem and enjoy my leave after tat

Yeah. Got to know my vocation today. And manage to get to the vocation i wanted. Which is commando medic which means im staying in commandos.yeah
Oso today got my jungle hat wif my call sign and the commando formation. Woot!
Today war a really fun and happy time wif the good news, and hat i got and a fun time at happy hour
Now time for me to slp...

today has proven it to me. we no longer clique like we used to. my thinking is totally different from u guys alrdy. things you find funny. no longer seems funny to me. somethings you do no longer is fun. its irritating to me sometimes.

i will not give in and say its my fault. i have no idea what is going on. and i just reached like i will know what happen to u. u doing things are always right. and seriously sometimes im just out of words of ur actions and the way u act.

well today have shown me that things changed and never was the way it was before i guess. i guess we cant clique like we used to...u can think whatever u want. this is my view. u may say me childish or what. maybe u can see and think abt ur action too. all i can say is im no gonna care wad is going to be said to me...

all changed...

- 4 more days to POP-

Recruit nite was really fun. wif all the acting by our fellow bravo coy 08. everyone imitating all the instructors and all really showed their instructors habits and so-called signature action out. and its really funny and entertaining for the whole nite. and i bet all the instructors have a good laugh too esp at each other. haha
was a really good day and had a fun time watching the performance and had a good laugh.

manage to clearify my IPPT results and it was a mistake. and my award is an IPPT silver instead of a pass. so im glad i cleared that out.

is just a short 4 days to my POP. really looking forward to it. and the vocational course that i will be posted to. However, there is still a possibility that i will be posted out to outside units. everyone sure have this feeling and fear of being posted out. so im not surprised i have too. well. time will show everything. and i hope things will go well and i can continue to stay in commandos.

Everything is over. Ippt over with a result tat im happy with. Results as below:-
Sit up- 48
Pull up- 9
Shuttle run- 9.6 sec
Standing board jump- 230cm
2.4 km run- 9.40 min
Happy. With result.left with soc to clear. Donno if i will get posted out of commandos coz i fail. Now my leg is in no condition to run. Every step is pain. Wonder wad will happen. Scared and worried now. Haix leg is gone...

still stressed about tml SOC test. really hope i can pass. Hope the method i experimented can help me... fear and stress is overcoming me now. haix. just wish me luck. Hope things will go well... :(

scared and stress of being kick out too. sigh. god please help me... heh

missing and thinking. sad :(

Am i stressed out?
I think i am...

I am thinking alot now. about alot of things. Ithink im fine but seems tat im not and im stressed out esp wif all the test coming up

Tears juz flows out after hearing my dad showing concern over me and asking if im stressed and share wif them my probs if i have and dont keep to myself..
the warmth of caring by my parents juz hit me hard as it really been a long time im cared and concern tis manner and im seriously touched by my parents. I didnt say tis before but thanks mum and dad for ur care and concern. love u guys.

Stressed. if only miracles can happen and i can see......

uploaded the pictures we took yesterday. had fun doing all the things

 

 
 
 
 

 

[Edited]

11 more days to POP. woots! cant wait. where i can get my formation badge and my jungle hat. woots! haha. provided nothing goes wrong and i got posted out instead. having a slight feeling that might happen. if that happens i will be uber disappointed.

well. today met up wif my sec sch friends and ate at yuki yaki (or was it yaki yuki. forgotten. haha) the food there was nice and is really worth the price. really shld go there with my other frens.ate like for 4hours plus. haha. talking and eating.
after which went to suntec IT fair. crowded on a saturday as usual. just went to creative booth to look to see if i can get any accessories for my new mp3. after that we sat down at one corner and slacked. the gals of my group started to cam-whore. lol. and took their cameras to play around with their iso and all. haha
after that walked to millinia walk. and walked to a place with nice sculptues and a beautiful fountain. the gals cont to cam-whore. and i started to join in the cam-whoring session. lol. yes me. cam-whoring. but well only did some pose by doing somethings my frens tot were impossible. haha. guessed army helped me to gain confidence to do stupid things like cam-whoring and having fun thru it. haha. which i felt good. coz i manage to gain confidence to do such things. haha. so i future if my frens want. might cam-whore with them. hee hee

update on my latest IPPT test results which i took yesterday morning. well i can say everything had improved except i still short on juz 1 chin-up to get silver for IPPT. below is my results:-

Chin-up: 7 times
Sit-up: 45 times
Shuttle run: 10.0sec
Standing Board Jump: 230cm
2.4KM run: 9.46min - 9.54min (didnt really take note of my own timing so not sure wad is my exact timing. all i know is its below 10min. haha)
really happy with my 2.4km run timing as i was aiming 10min flat but i exceeded it. so really happy on my performance.

oh one thing i finally understand why guys will be different before entering NS and after entering NS. there will be change in thinking and everything. and its so very true. after experiencing it today. there is some difference.

well. long week for me. and i shall turn in soon. shall upload the photos as soon as possible when i get it.

my mp3 is offically dead. brought to the service centre and was told that the hard disk inside is gone. and since it is no longer under warrenty. servicing it will not be worth it as the cost can allow me to get a new mp3. so currently looking at the creative Zen X-fi mp3. tempted to get it. as i cant live without music. so i shall see how. maybe have a look during the upcoming comex show next weekend.

thats not all. my camera phone didnt manage to get it to the service centre today as by the time i went, it was closed. so gotta have my mother to bring it down tml. this means one day later to have my phone checked and serviced. damn.

still there is more bad things happening. the new phone i bought yesterday. have some firmware or software problem. it could not access the media storage memory which is 4gb. which i really need to store my songs and other things into that internal memory. so brought it back today and oso it have to be kept and bring for repair which i do not know will take how long. damn. seems like everything just broke down at the same time. and now i gotta live with nothing and an old phone which no functions or what so ever. feel like crap. argh! haix. feel so sian coz of all this... if only a miracle can happen to change my mood...

in an hour time gonna book in. feel very sian oso. have this feeling every week when i book in. haix. really wish something to make me happy and make my day =/

anw 17 more days to my passing out parade...

both my sony ericsson K850i camera phone and my Zen Vision: M mp3 are both officially dead and are required to send each of the to their respective hospitals for treatment. damn its like 2 knife stabs to me. the 2 things that i use the more frequently are now not working. feeling crap and like a lot of things is missing. what worries me the most now is my mp3 as my warrenty is over. so i am not sure how much the service is going to be. pray hard that it wont cost much to the extend where i can buy a new set of mp3. pray pray pray.

for my phone i think it shld be can be repaired for free as it is still under warrenty. for now juz bought a new phone to replace and be used as my camp phone. phone model is sony ericsson W950i. still playing around with it and getting use to it. but still i do hope both my mp3 and camera phone will be back in one piece fast and as soon as possible

[Updated]

Back frm 8 days field camp in tekong. below is a summary of my 8 days of out field.

Day 1
-----
Arrived at P.Tekong. 8km route march to our camp site (CCP 7). was a ok march, and did field signal along with the march. halting and high kneeling all the way. allocated our spaces and setted up our basha (tent) thn had Individual Field Craft lessons (IFC) both day and night. lights out at 2230

Day 2
-----
Morning PT. followed by an hour plus of admin which includes our breakfast time. fall in and had more field craft lessons and pratical pratices. praticed on judging distances, target indication, visual searching and keeping directions. keeping direction was fun. was caught by instructors who acted as enemy terrorists and got "tortured" by crawling in mud pool during the day pratice. at the night pratice manage to go pass without being caught with the help of "operation Panda". was really tired during tat day due to the long night walk back to our camp.

Day 3
-----
Morning PT again. then had more field craft lessons. praticed on crossing danger area and contact drills(things to do when enemny attacked). was quite tiring while doing esp need to crawl around. but was ok as we were rewarded with rests if we do well. praticed it non stop till night.

Day 4
-----
Moved to a place with lots of buildings. praticed urban operations (storming a building and clearing a room) really like urban ops. is like playing call of duty except now its real life. really cool esp when we praticed in team/grp of threes. after which during the night moved to another location to sleep.

Day 5
-----
One of the most fun yet tiring day. During the first half of the day went to the live granade range to throw live granade. its really a once in a life time experience. while at the waiting area the blast was really loud which i thought of using ear plugs while throwing. but ended up not using since its once in a life time. but the sound was surprisingly softer while inside, but could feel the change in air pressure when the granade exploded. During the 2nd half of the day. did Battle Innoculation Course (BIC). is pratically crawling a distance and under barb wires and having machine guns with live rounds shooting over our heads. the whole thing was really really tiring. esp after the 2nd round. was really exhausted and the heat got to me. felt giddy and weak with no energy which cause me to nearly faint. damn >.<
but still manage to go thru.

Day 6
-----
Finally a relax day. had a circuit of IFCs to help us revise on our field crafts. was easy and my Detecment did really well in all the stations which we were rewarded with rests =D
After lunch had lesson on how to cross corn wires. and praticed. yet again my detechment did fairly well.

Day 7
-----
Another relax day. had IFC tests for the whole day. had very long rest and slacked around as we got to wait for our turn to be tested. so it was an easy day. and further more we were allowed to sleep at 1930 hours (7.30pm) which was super early. but the relax day didnt last long. had a turnout at 0130 hours (1.30am) thunderflashes which stimulates granades and had machine guns firing all around. this marks the start of our day 8 event. "Exercise Thunderstorm"

Day 8
-----
Exercise thunderstorm. day started at 0130 hours with a turn out. it is to stimulate we being surprised attacked by enemies and were "tortured" as POWs. we were forced to crawl, push ups, jumping jacks and lastly roll which made most of us vomitted. the whole torture thing lasted for like an hour after which had de-brief and learnt some special skills for our missions. After the tourture, had a 5km route march to our starting point of our missions. was really tired and i nearly fell aslp while marching. was fighting to keep myself awake as eyelids were really heavy. when reach start point started on our missions. total of 7 stations which is = 7 missions. shant describe the stations as it will be very long. want to know talk to me when u see me. haha. after all the stations were done. another 8km route march back to jetty which means going home! yay! marched pass lots of BMTC companies and sang really loud to make our presence felt. and the thing is bronco company had a 2.4km run but failed to find yk and raymond. haha. guess too many guys. back in pasir ris camp. had a really good dinner. one packet of nasi lemak and a can of cold coke. really nice after 8 days of combat rations.

Overall the field camp was a nice and wonderful experience. sleeping with and without cover in a jungle. doing businesses in a jungle. it was fun come to think of it. and at the same time it was tiring. esp i was the Detecment(group of 12 men) In-Charge (Det IC) for the whole 8 days. was more tired as got more work to do as an IC. but still i had a fun and great experience there.

now its time for pure training of physical for my SOC and IPPT really hope to pass these 2 so that i can continue to stay in commandos and get my red baret. oh and 2 more weeks till i pass out!!! woot! time was really fast. soon it will be 3 months and my BMT phase will be over. looking forward to my Passing Out Parade!

time for me to rest...

2 more days to tekong field. Feeling the stress coming to me and the fear of not being able to cope. Haix. I Juz hope time will pass fast and everything will go smooth.
Read it. Didnt know it was tat bad tat u need to go for an x-ray. Really hope everything will be alright and ok for u. Now im really worried abt ur health after u have fallen so ill really hope u recover soon. Even thou wont be ard online or so. But will always be there when u need. Will be praying for ur health always. :)
Rest time. Bye all

another update of the week...

these week was really tiring. had a lot of straining activities this week. First was the field camp in Marsling. although it is only a 2 days 1 night field camp. Was really tired after reaching back to camp. did not have a good night slp as the floor was really uncomfortable. and suffered quite a number of bruises and injuries all over my hands and both legs especially on the knees, and the 12km route march was really tiring. carrying a heavy load, walking up and down the roads and walking on broken road with gravels all sticking up, causing my feet to be super pain.

next after the field camp the following day we had a event called "Ultimate Detechment Challenge". It is an event where a total of 16 groups(detechments) compete against one another to see who is the strongest as a detechment and as a platoon. The tasks we were suppose to do were split into 4 stations.

Station 1: 400 Push-ups, 400 Sit-ups, 200 Chin-ups
Station 2: 1.5km casualty evacuation(60kg = 3x 20l jerry cans)
Station 3: Weapon proficency (Strip and assembly of weapons and IA drills)
Station 4: 50m Full-battle order leopard crawl

after all 4 stations, we are to walk a 9km route march in Full-Battle Order. Sadly to say i had to fall out half way nearing the end of the route march due to heat exhausted. vision was blurry, no energy at all, feeling damn warm all around, hands and legs were numb. and was really close to fainting. really really disappointed in myself not being able to hold on all the way to the end point. And im really sad and disappointed that we didnt came in first or second. nither did our platton came in 1st. We were super demoralised the whole day after seeing the results. Should i have not stopped my detechments and continue to push on. i believe my platoon would come in first. damn!

after that had lessons on grenade throwing and praticed using dummy grenades. Then the next day which is today. had a parent engagement session (something like parent meeting session in secondary schools) to show our progress so far.

now really tired. need rest.

and the whole of next week will not be back. will only be back on the following week due to another field camp. now it will be a 8days field camp in pulau Tekong. now im feeling really really stressed and scared that i will not be able to take it. argh!

Time to rest...

manage to have a short meet up wif some frens. had a good time talking to them and catching up and remembering the old times b4 i entered NS, when meeting ups were much easier. haha. but still had a good time together with them.
an hour+ or so left before i book in to camp again. every week when i book in i just feel damn sad and sian. always having the feeling of AWOL. haix but still. life goes on...

that a side..

To you: a short post for you to get well soon. and that you will have a fast and speedy recovery. and that your voice will return soon, your cough, sneeze and aches will just disappear soon. Rest well. and get well soon!

Rick Price - Heaven Knows
-------------------------

She's always on my mind
From the time I wake up till
I close my eyes
She's everywhere I go
She's all I know

And though she's far away
It just keeps getting stronger
everyday
And even now she's gone
I'm still holding on
So tell me where do I start
Cause it's breaking my heart
Don't wanna let her go

Maybe my love will come back someday
Only heaven knows
And maybe our hearts will find a way
Only heaven knows
And all I can do is hope and pray
'cause heaven knows

My friends keep tellin' me
That if you really love her
You've gotta set her free
And if she returns in time
I know she's mine
So tell me where do I start
Cause it's breaking my heart
Don't wanna let her go

Maybe my love will come back someday
Only heaven knows
And maybe our hearts will find a way
Only heaven knows
And all I can do is hope and pray
'cause heaven knows

Why I live in despair
'Cause wide awake or dreaming
I know she's never there
And all this time I act so brave
I'm shaking inside
Why does it hurt me so

Maybe my love will come back someday
Only heaven knows
And maybe our hearts will find a way
Only heaven knows
And all I can do is hope and pray
'cause heaven knows

Maybe my love will come back someday
Only heaven knows
And maybe our hearts will find a way
Only heaven knows
And all I can do is hope and pray
'cause heaven knows
Heaven knows... [ x2 ]


lyrics of one of my favourite song. and the meaning in it really fits me right now. lol.

a short update on this week.. lazy to write down in details.

all i can say this week was an easy week. but as the saying goes. the sea is the calmest before a storm. and my storm is a 8 days field camp in 2weeks time. which i hope i can pull through =/

this week mainly had lessons of field camp nearly everyday. well. just take is that its like a lecture in a poly. only is in military context. noting much.
also this week had another IPPT mock test. and i can say im quite happy with my results as i see improvments especially on my 2.4km run. manage to run in 10min 14sec. which at first i was surprised on my own timing too. its like a 3min+ slash from my very first 2.4km run at pasir ris camp. overall im happy.

that aside...

shared some stories here and there with my platoon mates. they have been saying lots of things which really make me confuse and all. sometimes i do not agree on what they say but somethings i do. wad i feel now is that it seems i have some problem talking to you. feels like sometimes u just do not want to reply back. and that you are busy to meet up. i do not know if its true. coz it seems you still have the time to meet some other friends. it just seems like everything you are avoiding me, and reading somethings really makes me wonder our "close-ness". i really wonder what is what now. can you please tell me?
yes i know somethings im thinking too much. yes i know maybe you really are that busy. but is just that somethings i just dont feel that way instead i feel some other ways. it sounds very dramatic. you may say that im jealous and all. but thats whats on my mind, and i have said my piece. just hope it didnt piss you off...

yet another update.

this week feel really tired somehow. always wanted to slp early but end up didnt. haha
had 2 test this week. weapon handling test and first-aid test. all i can say is the 2 tests are easy and is meant to help us pass easily.
Also this week had a taste of SOC (Standard Obstacle Course). all the stations are ok and quite easy to cross. the main prob that gives me some prob are swing-trainer (monkey-bar) and low-rope. but i think in due time. i will be able to overcome them easily.

that aside (away from army things)...

it will be nearing one year since i started everything. and i can say lots of things changed as the time passed. good or bad i do not know. but all i know there are happy times and sad times. and yet im still holding on up till now. i wont say "i wonder why" i think i know the reason. just i do not dare to face it or say it out thats all.
i guess it will be stupid and silly of me to keep thinking about you, missing you when im suppose to be concentrating on my training instead. is just i cant help it sometimes. i guess its just silly of me to do all this but i wont deny it that im doing it. that i miss you and think abt you.
i guess im still holding on and waiting i suppose. but where will it lead to i dont know. just do not want to put any stress or pressure on you. and will always be her for the you when you need a support.

heh. i guess you out there reading it will find that im stupid to say all this. just dont want to stress you...

Getting tired day by day. Feeling more and more lazy and no motivation to push myself. Wonder why. Hmmm.
Well shall update more when i book out on sat. Now im shall rest early today. -still thinking and pondering over things. Man i wish so...-

an excuse? a reality...

i will never know. only you will know...

wad ever the case i juz hope that your decision i always the truth...

- thinking and pondering over lots of things -

another update for another week...

this week went quite smoothly till yesterday when lots of things turned sour and was not that good. when we were punished by our platoon sgt to do a changing parade from full battle order to PT kit back to FBO again. and the total time we change around was like 5 times. was really sick and tired of doing it but i got no choice but to do it. well enough of unhappy moments
was tiring this week too as did lots of running. like speed training and endurance runs.
but im happy with my own results for this week

firstly for speed training manage to clock below 5min 30sec for 1.2km for both 2 times.
next for endurance run, manage to clock around 16min+ and 24min+ for 3km and 4.5km respectivly. so was quite happy i manage to reach all the stipulated timings given.

next somehow or another i surprised myself by doing 2 chin-up/pull-up on my own wifout any assistance. weird on how i manage to do that. but still happy i manage to break my own barrier =]

hope i will be able to continue to improve more =]

oh and today was was to have a bday celebration in army. a one in a lifetime experience. and sgt bernard was fun to be playing pranks wif us and saboing me as it was my bday today. haha

well happy bday to me. haha =]

back to camp in another hour time. start of BMT phase.

a little scared due to my chin-up/pull-up. i really hope i will be able to break the barrier.

having a mental preparation is one thing. when something happen is another. man..sucks

-welliwonderwhyimfeelingthisway.guessitstimethatdoallthisisuppose.
guesstimewilldoitworkagainsoon.shalljuzwait
misstalkingtoyouandmissyou-

summary of this week.

this week in camp was slack. and things were easy and relax. maybe due to the preparation for the BMT intake yesterday(Friday).

well. as mentioned b4. had IPPT CAT test again which i really am not happy with my own results. feeling crappy coz of it. and now having low morale and not much motivation. guess really got to stress and pressure myself more to get better results.

this week had out first Friday book out. cool. fianlly a long weekend for me to rest my muscles. Monday will be the start of BMT training. well. do not know how tough it will be. just hope i will be able to endure. and hope my bunk will be more fun since there is an additional of 8 more bunk mates. haha

alrite enough of camp stuff..

yest nite met up wif "darling". so sweet of her to celebrate an early bday wif me as not sure if able to meet up next week. getting me a slice of cake and a bread which was funny on why she got tat bread for me. haha. really sweet of her to celebrate bday wif me alone. and watched the movie Red Cliff at DTE. not a bad show. but the ending was abit surprising. haha. after the movie didnt know where to go. so sat in the car at talked till ard 4.15am then drove "darling" home and i headed home to catch my much needed slp. haha. cool bday celebration. =)

that a side...

not sure is due to what reason. guess due to the lack of sleep and shouting alot. currently not really feeling well. sense like i will be down wif some illness soon =x
and feeling very uncomfortable as im having serious sore throat now and dry coughs quite often. crap.

well. thats about it for this week. update again next week. time to rest...

-miss...-

Short post. Using gprs. Today had ippt cat test again. Was totally not happy wif my results. Only improvements are my 2.4km run, shuttle run and sit up. However pull up im still stuck as a freaking zero fighter. And standing board jump deproved 10cm. Now totally moodless due to my standards not up to my expectations. Guess i need to pressure and stress myself more to perform better. Haix. Low moral now...

now i feels like so little time but so many things i want to do. totally opposite from last time when i have so much time but so little to do. haix..

miss the free time that i have.

seriously im wondering is what i doing the right thing to do. conflicts of the "angel" and "devil" of my brain..if only i could say it out somehow to you. but i donno how and never know if i ever should..

as a phase i heard. "the past is a history, the future is a mystery, and now is a gift thats why it is called the present" wonder which one im in. am i still living in the past? or am i taking it day by day one step at a time? or looking way ahead of me to predict? or all three? curious...

but oh wells. for now one thing i really ask myself now. am i still holding on? am i still waiting? for now my ans to myself will be a "yes". shall see what gift i will have from the mystery.

-waitingstillbutwhatarewenowstillthesameasbeforeifonlyihavethechanceto
talkandshareeverythingwithyoumissyabutdonnoaboutyou-

update on latest week in camp...

as usual had lots of PT lessons, and ran quite alot tis pass week. had a 4.5km run and a 2.4km run in a fast pace time limit of 5min30sec for every 1.2km
but overall was quite happy with my own results as i manage to hit the timing and ran non-stop for the 4.5km run. but will continue to push myself more to cont improving.
but now what worries me is my pulll-up. still a 0-fighter. but i think im getting there. today was close to breaking my "egg" believe soon i can be able to do some. haha
oso i passed the swimming CAT test and now classified as a swimmer. haha. wee. looking forward to an early book out if there ever have one.
thats for PT.

other stuff. drew arms (SAR21) this week. it feels good to be able to carry a weapon and learn about it. cant wait to pratice more on it. esp wif the loading of magazine. haha oso had a 5km route march this week. well must say was quite tiring as the pace was quite fast too..

well. its been fast. 3weeks of my NS life have past. next week a new batch of recruit (the BMT batch) will be coming in. so we will have new platoon mates and buddies. looking forward to meeting them.

thats about it for the past week. still down with some cough, sore throat and runny nose.and slight strain on my shoulders pain on shoulder kicks in if i pressure it. but oh wells. just pray i wont fall sick, haha

-hopetomeetyousoonandtalkbutcantthinkofanythingtotalknow-

finally im back from my 2wks of NS confinement.

it just feels so good to be back home. haha. with all the familiar things around me
haha

well. not much time for me to enjoy. but will make use of everytime wisely
haha..

overall its feels good to be back home. after being away for 2 wks. hope time will pas faster now.

to you: seriously miss you whn im inside. not that i want to think. but ya. just miss talk to u and all alot. hope to see you soon =)

im gone.

Special Operation Tactics Centre to serve my NS. confinement for first 2wks

back in 2 wks

in less then 24 hours i will be at pasir ris camp serving my NS BMT...

well. got nth much. just hope time time wont be so draggy whn im inside...

that aside..

i must be stupid to suspect everything...

i must be stupid to think of it that way...

i must be stupid to feel jealous after reading it i donno why...

i must be stupid to keep asking the same question juz to reassure myself...

i must be stupid to think so much and having the feeling we are drifting apart...

i must be stupid to now asking myself this question of are we still the same, closer or further...

i must be stupid now to think that im gonna miss you badly i donno why but i will...

i must be stupid... just hope we are still the same as before.

i must be stupid to write all these now...

-idonnowhyiwritethis,isjustsomethingthatiwishtosayout,iknowyoumayfeelirritatedbythisorso,
idonotknowwhatyouwillsayafterthis,iguessimjustreassuringmyselfagain...alwaybebyourside-

只剩下鋼琴陪我談了一天
睡著的大提琴
安靜的舊舊的
我想你已表現的非常明白
我懂我也知道
你沒有捨不得
你說你也會難過我不相信
牽著你陪著 我也只是曾經
希望他是真的比我還要愛你
我才會逼自己離開

你要我說多難堪
我根本不想分開
為什麼還要我用微笑來帶過
我沒有這種天份
包容你也接受他
不用擔心的太多
我會一直好好過

你已經遠遠離開
我也會慢慢走開
為什麼我連分開都遷就著你
我真的沒有天份
安靜的沒這麼快
我會學著放棄你
是因為我太愛你

hurt...

i wonder how and what to do. news of my uncle condition just reach me. unable to pass thru tis wk is wad i heard. by then i will be in NS. no last look. i donno what to do...

will see how tml...

trying not to tink. but after certain things...

it just flows out unknowingly...

was it a lie? i donno anything anymore. i donno...

the hurt just hit me unknowingly...

everything is thrown in chaos...

i donno anything anymore...

if there is only me... where is the me that is really me?

i donno what im feeling and what i shld do now...

yes 3 more days and im gonna say good bye and hello to pasir ris camp.
in 3 days time will be the start of my NS life everything seem so fast. esp time. its only like yesterday whn i started my poly life. and now gonna start my NS life. time do flies whn u didnt notice. and sometimes i wonder wad will happen if i chose a different path in poly. and with the different set of ppl i meet. how different will my life be from it now. but im glad my chosen path. meeting all the great ppl ard me. and esp being given a special someone who i will treasure forever and who will always be there and stand by me. thank you for being my special someone. Your existence in my life changed alot in me, and is an important existence i have in me now. your smile make my world and my day perfect. Thank you alot to you=]

that aside...

watched kungfu panda. and the show was hilarious. laughed nearly the whole show. nice and interesting show. cool. heh
well something i find it true in the show. believe and start to believe . and there are no secret recipe. there is only you...

with that said. off to do nth. heh

.. ..-. --- -. .-.. -.-- .. -.-. .- -. .... .- ...- . - .... . -.-. .... .- -. -.-. . - --- ... .- -.-- - .... . ... . .-- --- .-. -.. ... - --- -.-- --- ..- .. -- .. ... ... -.-- --- ..- --..-- .- -. -.. .. .-- .. ... .... - --- -... . .-- .. - .... -.-- --- ..-
.. ..-. --- -. .-.. -.-- .. -.-. .- -. .... .- ...- . - .... . -.-. .... .- -. -.-. . - --- ... .- -.-- .. .... . .- .-. - -.-- --- ..-
.. ..-. --- -. .-.. -.-- .. -.-. .- -. .- .-.. .-- .- -.-- ... -... . -... -.-- -.-- --- ..- .-. ... .. -.. . .-- .... . -. -.-- --- ..- -. . . -..
.. ..-. --- -. .-.. -.-- - .... . .-. . -.-. .- -. -... . -- --- .-. . -... . - .-- . . -. ..- ...
-... ..- - .. ..-. .- .-.. .-.. - .... . .. ..-. ... -.-. .- -. .... .- .--. .--. . -. - .... .. ... .-- --- .-. .-.. -.. .-- --- ..- .-.. -.. -. . ...- . .-. -... . .. -- .--. . .-. ..-. . -.-. -
..-. --- .-. -. --- .-- .-- . .- .-. . .-- .... .- - .-- . .- .-. .

truth

the truth of that question...

i want to know the answer. why?

coz im curious...

coz i wish to know u better...

and lastly so that i can know what i should do and organize everything properly..

but i do nor have the answer. therefore im at a lost...

ppl asked is give up my ans...

i juz reply no. but i cant help having the feeling i will be forced to do that....

fgs grand opening

helped out today at FGS being an usher to prevent public from entering the main hall as its a VIP only premises. many major people were here. Our president, Grandmaster Hsin yun. it normal for the public keep wanting to go enter the premises esp to have a look at Grandmaster Hsin yun.
Well couldnt say is an easy job. As many people will take any chance they have just to slip into the compound. Overall is great. manage to see both the president and the grandmaster upfront as the car of the president drove pass me and was a human shield to guide Master across. cool. haha
but well. day ended with a headache and stomach upset. oh wells. at least i get to see major peoples. heh =]

that aside...

I wonder what am i thinking now. complicated feelings and i do not know what to do. if things were like in the past everything will be clear. but now. due to some complications it can nvr be like the past. and i wish it could be like the past. well. i donno...

-if only... i donno anymore...-

i donno

its offically less thn 1 wk b4 i step into my NS life.
well. maybe wad they say is true. whn we come out we will be talking abt nth but our NS days. but well i really do hope it wont be that bad. coz be be frank and honest i want to talk more thn juz that.

i dont understand myself anymore. i dont know why am i feeling this way. i cant explain and cant tell what i am doing. but all i know is wad im am feeling but whit no what-so-ever reason. wonder why...

-If only...-

old sch meet up

Met up with my sec sch "brothers" yest (4 Jun-Wed) and Ms koh my sec sch D&T teacher. had a great time talking to each other and sharing how our lives has been so far. as usual we got rejected on treating our teacher. haha like 10 out of 10 times it happened. bring back memories when i together with them and laughed quite alot due to the things my frens do. haha. after which my 2 sec sch frens can to my hus and slacked. was like old times whn we always hang out tgt. but i must say. i have drifted away frm them for a distance. it me i guess...

well that aside...

been counting down to my NS enlistment. now im left wif 8 days (7 days to be accurate after i post this up). having mixed feeling of things around me. weirds...
well time for me to cont my countdown...

some things i find it true of wad my other frens said. you can nvr know wad will happen next. one action can have multiple outcomes. so still u will nvr know wad is truely right and truely wrong. so yea..

-you. if only i knew whats going on in there. if only you can share it with me. if only im able to provide a listening ear. if only im able to help you share your burden. if only you wont say its random. if only it can be like in the past where you share everything with me. if only...and i hope i can know... but i think im a stupid idiot and fool to think this way-

countdown 10 days

officially started my countdown to NS. 10 more days to 13 Jun
having mixed feelings. but oh wells..

played basketball again today wif the usual group. will count as the last time we will be playing basketball together for now. till we manage to find time to meet up again and exercise! =)
today was fun thou only 5 ppl turned up. at least i played well and up to my own standard. haha =p

that aside..

as everyone has been hearing on radio, words by others, and see it on news and TV charity shows. ppl frm nearly all around the world are helping the ppl in sichuan in any way they can. thou they have many deaths and casualties in short run. but i believe with all the help. i hope that the people will get out of this disaster and live their lives normally again. thou some wont be able to as they lost their most precious thing on earth. their family member...
enough said of sichuan. but i do not know if anyone noticed. there is no news abt the disaster in Myanmar. i believe the destruction is nearly the same as sichuan. but there is no news about it. why? its all due to their government i suppose. from what i know and heard. their government seem to be rejecting all the help that are offered to them. why?
thou for now their casualties are not high. but in the long run. more ppl will die after the water have cleared up. but debris and residue by the flood will remain. and thus leading to a possibility of disease outbreak there. which lead to ppl falling ill and die by it. so i wonder why they do not want help
thou both places have different situation and is handled differently. but one thing is common. innocent lives like small kids are endangered in both places by natural disaster.
so the bottom line is its lucky for us to be staying in Singapore where we are away from such disasters. and to all. live ur lives happily and as thou its ur last. as you will not know what will happen tml and the future =)

sneeze sneeze sneeze

crap. feeling crappy.. been sneezing for like nearly 24hr non-stop
feeling so sick. eyes pain due to lots of rubbing, feeling warm everytime and feeling very restless and all due to non-stop sneezing. cant concentrate on anything i do. wonder is my signus, my nose is too sensitive or some illness with my nose =S

but bottom line is it feels super uncomfortable. crap. blah!

had class gathering or to be specific class-cum-clique gathering bbq at YK house. Woot had been some time since we all gathered together like this. had a fun time talking to each other and catching up. miss the times we are together. seems like my organizing skills have not rust much after not planning for outings/gatherings for so long. thou had some minor hicups here and there. but all wnt according to plan.
well in 4 days time everyone will start to go into NS one by one. and i really gonna miss the time i have wif my frens (esp you more thn the rest =x) wonder whn will we have the time, energy and chance to meet up and all again. i hope the meet-up after the first 2 wks of confinement of everyone will happen and we can meet up with each other after the first 2 wks of confinment =)
well. gotta rest now. feeling light headed and slight giddiness and started to sneeze non-stop AGAIN!! argh!!

To you: Get plenty of rest and water and hope you get well soon! =)

off to dreamland...

think i can start counting down to my NS date. haha. its like 2 more weeks. seems far but feels close. haha. donno wad im talking too. but i juz hope things will be ok inside and time will pass fast. =p

anyways...

to the "guest" who tagged my blog. i do not know is if u forgotten to put ur name or is on purpose. if it is on purpose. i have no comments of ur actions. have no idea why u did that. i shant bother abt u. but wad really puzzles me is why do u hide ur identity? if u have anything u can juz say out man. but whatever. shant bother abt u...

tired...

wnt back to sch to play basketball today. played for quite long. but sadly was off-form today =(
but oh wells. shant go think abt it.

being a graduand really feels diff. the feeling of going back to sch is just different. like i no longer have the purpose of going back there anymore. since i do not have any lesson or what so ever. but well it will always a place i remb where i meet lots of nice ppl =)

that aside..

as we all know the recent accidents in China and MediaCorp juz had a last min charity show on chn 8 last on sun. well the show was really very dressed down and all and can really see everyone's sadness abt that incident. what really touched me was the pictures they show. the hands of ppl in the debris who were trying to get out. and the most saddening part was whn they showed the pictures of a school debris. and all the children that got trapped and killed in the school. its really sad. all of them are still young. yet they do not have the chance to finish their studies. not ever again. and its saddening whn the parents are shown. crying. not just crying. you could see they cried till their tears have dried up. u can imagine hw sad and big blow for them that their only child died. well all the pictures are very saddening. and it just remind us on how lucky we are to be in Singapore and will not have such disasters. and the most shocking part is. they have yet to clear up all the debris and the bodies. they are hit by a 6.4 magnitute after-shock earthquake. can u imagine the ppl there. living in constant fear. how sad.
well after seeing all these it just come to my mind that life is very unpredictable. u never know wad will happen tomorrow. anything can happen. who knows what things will come in your direction in life. no wonder there is a saying of "live everyday as if its your last" how true this sentence can be.

well enough of sad things said. now for some happy things. looking forward to this sat (31st May) bbq-cum-pot luck gathering. hope it will be fun with everyone ard. yeah!
oh ya. still in the process in compiling all the graduation ceremony photos. have uploaded those i have in facebook. those interested can have a look there. The link:
Graduation Photos

- To you: wish and pray for you to get well soon and be healthy once again. will always provide you with the support when you need. take care!-

graduated from TP 2008 IIT MWC

Today marks the final moments of the existance of 0502833G in TP-IIT-MWC
I have offically graduated from TP with a diploma. It only seems like yesterday whn i first started life in poly. and now everything has come to an end. come to think of it. i really regretted not doing alot of things. but oh wells. its over. and its time to move on in life. guys go NS gals go uni or work.
but one thing is for sure. i will miss the times in poly with all my frens. the fear of losing contacts with each other (esp you. opps) just keeps coming frm time to time. coz who knows wad will happen whn we go NS rite. but i do wish that the best case scenario will always happen =)
Took quite a number of photos with everyone and everyone was very happy to graduate. i am too. but am i putting up a fake front as i know deep down im sad due to the fact that we may not be able to meet as often in future. but oh wells. hope for the best! (shall upload the photos after i compiled everyones photo together). Cant believe but i graduated from poly. and if only i had done somethings that i now regret for not doing. everything will be perfect. but well. time to move i guess..

that said...

met chuan yan for dinner. wnt to billy bombers for dinner. had mixed grill. was so-so. shld have juz ordered the ribs. haha. but i love the shake. it was fantastic! had a great time talking to chuan yan abt random stuffs. thou at one point i was shocked she asked me a question whn i didnt expect and didnt believe wad i said. and insisted that im not saying the truth. haha
thn met leticia at mac and slacked there and talked till like 12mn then headed home.

had a fun day. but i know deep down hiding among all the smiles and happiness, there is a part of sadness inside. which to me is unavoidable. so yea. now counting down to NS...

-P.S. a short post of what i think abt you. sorry if it sounds weird and make you akaward, just a short post which i tink if i bottle up i will feel worse. here goes. well. to be frank im really afraid of us losing contact and drifting apart. really do not wish it to happen. i know i shld not be thinking abt it but really i just cant help it. haix. guess its me that has this problem. ppl said things which shocked me frm time to time. but always trying to explain myself till i convince them. i know it may make u feel weird and akaward. but guess its my fault for all this mess. and can only say im sorry for all this. but bottomline is i just hope we will remain the way we are and if there is chance. can be closer. and nvr be drifted apart. and like my personal msg wonder if there is a possibility of further development more thn now??? and the really bottom of bottomline. i said it online =x
and lastly i really do hope you to get well soon. hope u will have a checkup if its not getting better. if only i can drag u to a doc. not being to do anything i feel kinda useless being such a close fren. but not being able to do anything. =x-

i know im so gonna regret typing all that out. as i know there is a possibility that it will make u feel weird and akaward. yes i know ppl reading this will think im weird. if i will feel such things y do i still type it out. but im just being honost with myself and not bottling up anything. but from the bottom of my heart thats how i felt today for the whole day. well. i just hope things wont be as bad as i am thinking now. coz i juz know that the feeling of the possibility i mention is high. just dont want to scare you off like last time again... =/

oh wells. tired. slp...

meet ups

weee. met bestie today at tamp for dinner. wanted long john but was packed so ended up eating at food court. haha. thn head down to siglap and slacked at starbucks while waiting for bud bud to return home. original plan was to surprise bud bud wif bestie's presence. but guess some how she knows that she will be there so there is no surprise. dang. haha. but oh wells. happy and glad that i can help bud bud on such favors. hees =D

today was fun. been a super uber long time since i last saw my bestie. had a great time talking to her today. yayness! =D

looking forward to the bbq-cum-potluck on 31st may =D
will be fun seeing everyone again. and esp hanging out wif you and bestie =)
for now looking forward to tml graduation ceremony. thou no plans after tat but will have last min ones i suppose tml. sadly u will have your things on. but oh wells. =)

- hope you get plenty of rest. and you will get well soon. will be praying for you everyday =) -

many things...

recently as everybody knows lots of things are happening around the world.
flood in mynmar... earthquake in china... and some human killings in africa..
there are so many things happening. well i do hope things for the victims in those few countries can be better as i think they wont be suffering for a short time.

well. back in singapore. things are happening ard in my family too. my 2nd uncle from my father side is now hospitalized as he is down wif cancer and the condition is worse. visited him at hospital. and it was really my first time in 20 years i see a cancer tumor. it was really huge and its really showing on the outside. thou im not really close to my uncle as we seldom talk whn we see each other. i juz cant help it to feel sad for him to suffer like this. thou when i visit him he is aslp and not feeling anything. but i know soon he will be feeling the pains caused by the cancer cells. by then i have no idea hw his family members will be esp his wife. seeing her now still happily smiling and laughing and joking around. but i know she is hurt deep down inside and knowing that her husband cant be cured and frm wad the doctors speculated. maximum for him will be 3 mth and having 3 mth is the best case scenario and will be said as a bonus. the under lying meaning to that is he may anytime be off. so yea. maybe his wife is getting mentally prepared for the worse, but still no matter how prepared you are for this kind of things. i think when the time really comes. everthing will just collasp.

well now there is nothing we can do but to be by his side and to give our support to his wife a much as possible. all i hope if whn the time comes for him. he will be off happy and do not need to suffer any pains before that. now all i can do is hope his family will be strong when the time comes.

-Life... -

sadded. one of my favorite original game CD became like this yesterday nite while i was re-installing it into my com.
it broke inside my cd-rom drive while it was being read.
the good thing is my cd-rom is still working. phew.
well guess is time for me to buy a new copy...

-wish and pray for you to get well soon and the pain will be gone for good =) -

long lost feeling of adrenaline rush thru my body, mind and hands. looking into every single details, pushing to he limit. everything is in slow motion. been a long time i had this feeling. that feeling was just great. if only the active scene can still be seen around singapore. but oh wells. not anymore i guess

anyways...

saw a RX-7 yest. whats more it an FC!!! when i saw it i was like wa!! my dream car in front of me!! can i just drive it home. haha. and was looking at every details to make sure its that car. haha. but sadly too many ppl and no time to take a photo of it.

movie chocolate. hmmm. ok show. my own opinion. not worth the money to watch in cinemas

- so many things i wish i could do with you, but if only i have the chance. but oh wells. heh-

speed racer...

after so long of not seeing each other. met up wif my sec sch bestie today =))
been a long time since i last saw her. was great to be able to meet up wif this gal again =)
met her at heeren thn wnt to cineleisure to catch a movie. wanted to watch accuracy of death, but whn we wanted to buy tix. the time slot we wanted was sold out so we ended up watching speed racer. not a bad show. those who love futuristic stuffs may like it. lots of dazzling lights in the movie thou. but while watching the show brings back childhood memories of the cartoon. and the classic move of the mach-5 using the jump gadget was juz a classic signature move i remembered which i cant forget. whoo! imagine i could have such cars. haha. traffic jams wont be a prob. while watching a thing also came to my mind. was imagining that wont it be good tat if i could have a chance to join a racing team in real life. thou nth near speed racer. but still it would be nice. the adrenaline running thru while racing, pushing oneself to the limit, the possibility of winning and the feeling is juz great. the last time i can feel all this was whn my initial D team was still active and having matches frm time to time. whooo! but even if have doubt my real life driving can make it. so many flaws in my driving.

anyways that aside...

really had a great time today. talking non-stop and hearing her probs =)
skipped dinner. had bubble tea only as dinner. heh =x
hope to hang out again soon with my meal treat the next time. hee hee =P

tired...

-Wish you could share things bottled up inside you and on your mind too like the old times. really do hope so... -

if onli i knew...

If only i know what it means...

maybe it wont be like this....

somehow it stings...

what if i say this...

what if i ask this....

will anything gonna happen...

i guess i am thinking too much...

every thing is just my wishful thinking i suppose...

im so stupid... just stupid i guess...

-not that i want to think. and i know im thinking alot again. but i juz cant help it. guess im tired... -

3rd rejection letter

got my last and final uni rejection letter today

SMU... as expected rejected. =(

now appeal time...

song lyrics

some songs i been listening recently...

Firstly, an old online game i played during my sec sch days, and was my fav online game. Song taken from the game called <<天下無雙>> in english is called <>

天下無雙 Online - 天邊路
--------------------------
回頭朝著天的那一方
我的腳步卻一刻也不能停阿
就這樣一步步
遠遠的離開他
白天陪著我是溫暖太陽
夜晚我還帶著星星和月亮

為了我親愛的孩子阿
為了成群氂牛滿山的肥羊阿
為了我最心愛故鄉的那個他
大風大雪總在耳邊說話
腳下踩著重重步伐

一步一步一步一步
一路一路一路一路
一步一步一步一步
一路一路一路一路
一步一步一步一步
一路一路一路一路
一步一步一步一步 走阿

用盡全部的力量
踩平心裡憂傷
可只能用盡全部的力量
走一步再向前走一步
一步步向天邊路
用盡全部的力量
踩平心裡憂傷
我只能用盡全部的力量
走一步再向前走一步
一步步向這條思念的路

followings are some song i heard on radio and found it nice

李圣杰 - 擦肩而过
-------------------

我爱着谁
爱到我有点醉
告诉我你是谁
能够把我让我变不对
你不会累
但我却爱你爱得好累
从没有为了谁
不顾安危付出一切
站在这平衡点
我还是觉得有点危险
或许是看不见
只能够靠感觉
他不会是个好男人
也不会是个好情人
你对我说我们只是擦肩而过
好的男人有那么多
少了他的日子也能过
我不会再让你寂寞
也不会让你更难过
你听我说要好好学着去生活
就算未来有多少错
至少还有我的问候
我的温柔陪你度过

你听我说
你不要这么做
你不要看着我
说你已经知道怎么做
你很难受
我愿意陪你一起承受
只要你不怕痛
再多坎坷我都陪你走
站在这平衡点
我还是觉得有点危险
或许是看不见
只能够靠感觉
他不会是个好男人
也不会是个好情人
你对我说我们只是擦肩而过
好的男人有那么多
少了他的日子也能过
我不会再让你寂寞
也不会让你更难过
你听我说要好好学着去生活
就算未来有多少错
至少还有我的问候
我的温柔陪你度过
他不会是个好男人
也不会是个好情人
你对我说我们只是擦肩而过
好的男人有那么多
少了他的日子也能过
我不会再让你寂寞
也不会让你更难过
你听我说要好好学着去生活
就算未来有多少错
至少还有我的问候
我的温柔陪你度过
就算未来有多少错
至少还有我的问候
我的温柔陪你度过

吴克群 - 為你寫詩
------------------

愛情是一種怪事
我開始全身不受控制
愛情是一種本事
我開始連自己都不是
為你我做了太多的傻事
第一件就是為你寫詩

為你寫詩 為你靜止
為你做不可能的事
為你我學會彈琴寫詞
為你失去理智
為你寫詩 為你靜止
為你做不可能的事
為你彈奏所有情歌的句子
我忘了說 最美的是你的名字

愛情是一種怪事
你的笑容是唯一宗旨
愛情是一種本事
我在你心裡什麼位子
為你我做了太多的傻事
第一件就是為你寫詩

為你寫詩 為你靜止
為你做不可能的事
為你我學會彈琴寫詞
為你失去理智
為你寫詩 為你靜止
為你做不可能的事
為你彈奏所有情歌的句子
我忘了說 最美的是你的名字

為你寫詩 為你靜止
為你做不可能的事
為你 我學會彈琴寫詞
為你失去理智
為你寫詩 為你靜止
為你做不可能的事
為你彈奏所有情歌的句子
我忘了說 最美的是你的名字

我什都能忘記 但唯一不忘是你的名字
我什都能忘記 但唯一不忘是你的樣子
我什都能忘記 但唯一不忘是你的名字
我什都能忘記 但唯一不忘是你的樣子

林俊杰& 金莎 - 期待爱
-----------------------

男:my life 一直在等待
空荡的口袋
想在里面放一份爱
why 总是被打败
真的好无奈
其实我实实在在
不管帅不帅

男:想要找回来(女:想要找回来)
男:自己的节拍(女:自己的节拍)
男:所以这一次
合:我要勇敢大声说出来

合:期待期待你发现我的爱
无所不在我自然而然的关怀
男:你的存在(女:你的存在)
男:心灵感应的方向
合:我一眼就看出来
是因为爱

合:我猜你早已发现我的爱
绕几个弯靠越近越明白
男:不要走开(女:不要走开)
男:幸福的开始就是
合:放手去爱

男:想要找回来(女:想要找回来)
男:自己的节拍(女:自己的节拍)
男:所以这一次
合:我要勇敢大声说出来

合:期待期待你发现我的爱
无所不在我自然而然的关怀
男:你的存在(女:你的存在)
男:心灵感应的方向
合:我一眼就看出来
是因为爱

合:我猜你早已发现我的爱
绕几个弯靠越近越明白
男:不要走开(女:不要走开)
男:幸福的开始就是
合:放手去爱

合:幸福的开始就是放手去爱

张栋梁 - 新歌試唱
------------------

你說的每句話　我都能耳熟能詳
像副歌一樣朗朗上口的唱
對你每次期盼　唱片才聽到一半
你迫不及等待你的下一張

＊愛就像是排行榜　你是新歌屢次奪冠
愛就算沒有宣傳　我會天天全面播放

愛得很瘋狂　愛就像新歌非同凡響
愛得很風光　樂評歌迷都會很欣賞
愛得很壯觀　愛像新歌萬人大合唱
愛得很勇敢　讓我新歌試唱到天亮

唱著這首新歌　分享我們的心得
才短短幾分鐘就依依不捨
歌詞那樣獨特　每個人也感動了
從排舞到練唱依然那麼織熱

REPEAT＊

愛得很浪漫　像MV拍得頗有質感
愛得很勇敢　讓我新歌試唱到天亮
愛~~~瘋狂　非同凡響
愛就算沒有宣傳　我會天天全面播放

REPEAT＊

愛得很浪漫　像MV拍得頗有質感
愛得很勇敢　讓我新歌試唱到天亮

ok now tats quite a few songs. haha. anyone if u want the song can juz ask frm me. haha

fuck taxi drivers!

-Warning!! Explict content coming up! contains lots of course languages-

What was suppose to be a happy day for me ended up a nightmare..

wnt to sch to meet pretty bud bud, ws and yk. thn fetched thm home. everything was smooth till i going out frm ws hus and while reversing accidently banged into a taxi bumper (lots of lesson learn recently). well settled and im ok wif paying up the repairs as it was my fault. BUT no! he happily fucking copied my particulars to another piece of paper wrongly (how i know is another piece of paper? coz the new piece is torn in a corner whn i remb clearly i dont remb writing on a piece of torn paper) and claimed i give wrong info. thats ok. juz wnt down to police station to meet up. wad really fucking pissed me off is whn my father wnt to inspect the damage of the car. the condition was much worse then it originally was. it was protruding out more then it was. and when i told him the condition was worse. he fucking happily said i twisted my words and say im not being honest.

well FUCK YOU! the passanger on board at first was as thou rushing to reincarnate. like rushing for time. i do not have the time to get necessary things. u got lucky there asshole for me not being able to take pictures as evidence. Well fuck it that you cant get any business. fucking put all the blame on me and ripping me off. and who gives a fucking shit on where you stay. jurong? so. my fucking problem? if u want business at nite. pls fucking use your brain and go to places like orcard or changi airport. where u can continue to fucking rip tourists their money.
Im fucking pissed the way u turn things around saying im the one being dishonest. looks who talking. fuck shit!

Fucking taxi scammer! as much as i want to curse you i shant. Now i fucking hate taxi drivers even more. trying to rip you off at every fucking opportunity they can have. and wads more. seen lots of taxi drivers "bullying" P-plate drivers. making things difficult for them. today ended up a bad day for me. freaking pissed now. fucking taxi driver. argh!

- ranting here. sorry for all the corse languages. but im seriously freaking pissed abt that taxi driver now!-

feeling crappy

argh! feeling crappy now. feeling super bad

had been sneezing and nose tap been loose since the moment i woke up in the morning up till now at tis very momet when im writing this post. sneezing and sneezing and sneezing non stop. tissue using very fast. argh!
Hate it whn this happens. feeling like crap now. unable to concentrate properly. blah!

memories.

juz noticed got lots of photos in my folder. ranging frm sec sch photos till all the way till poly last sem. lots of memories in there. haha

sec sch memories: fun time, happy times and nthing much to think at all juz study study study and play play play. unlike now. maybe its me that changed. heh

Team F.R.E.E memories: really have fun with my team. all the trainings and matches we been thru tgt. all the happy times we have tgt whn gathering and winning matches. oso sharing defeat tgt as a team in our matches. missed the time we had steamboat tgt as one big team. talking and laughing non-stop. shall have another one soon.

Poly memories: yr 1- was not really close to anyone till i started talking to my bestie shereen=) and my clique thn was her, bud bud, and boon keng. hanged out tgt and thats hw we passed thru yr1
yr 2- slight change in clique. was quite a complicated year. many things happened which lasted all the way till yr 3. but one person stood by me and supported me thru. which i really wish to thank you for standing by me and supporting me (well this is the reason).
yr 3- SIP at openMobile. boring sip. didnt learn anything except on how to spend time away in office watching online streaming shows. was during yr 3 whn bud bud and i become really close frens and know each other really well. miss the time whn we are sms-ing each other and just talking thru sms. and sharing our so- called secrets with each other. haha. how i wish we will be able to do that again. and yr 3 was my Major Project. had fun doing it and did learn quite abit of things. thou have problems frm time to time. but manage to solve it in the end

now some thank yous. for sec sch: thank my "brothers" glenn and ye wei especially. always having fun tgt

Team F.R.E.E: everyone. each and every one of them made team F.R.E.E a well known team in singapore. and the real run is whn everyone are tgt

Poly: You! thanks for supporting and stood by me all this time. well. really happy to have you around =) hope can be able to do the things i said abv again. heh

- memories make me talk like i got a music award. haha-

stupid me

-updated-

blah! made a can it be called mistake?
saying without thinking again. such a stupid moron i am.(maybe thats y im always alone and single. heh)

now no matter wad i do is too late. well hopefully things will be better after i wake up or whatnot. really just wish everything will be like *poof* and disappear into thin air

and i sware to myself that i will not be back to myself (thou thats half the reason. the other half is another reason). but thn which is really my oldself??? the emo, and think alot self. or was it the one tat im always smiling and happy self?? which one is the realy actual oldself of me? i myself do not know it too. but well i really do not want it to happen again... blah! dumb mistakes by stupid me...

that a side...

wnt to sch to play badminton today. well cant say im gd in tis sports coz i juz feel abit weird playing it. like i look funny and all and not doing wad is suppose to do. but well. i donno. but i did have fun thou. laughing from time to time. had fun. another badminton session next fri. hope will be fun too. and pray hard i wont do this bloody idiotic same mistake again!

-donno want i can do. hope things will be better-

thinking about you

- Post Removed-

cold hearted

i do not know what am i...

went to visit my 2nd uncle who is now down with cancer. and has spreaded and his condition is getting worse. he does not ave the appitite to eat thus leading him to the lack of energy to walk or even get out of bed. all he wants is to sleep. i can see e lost lots of weight. his hands are all skinny. having see all this i do not feel anything inside of me. yes i know i am sad somewhere deep down inside my heart. but i do not feel any pain. i really wonder why.. am i really that cold hearted? i donno. i just dont feel a thing. nothing at all....
but i do hope he can be better somehow...

and today talking to her, i got to know some things going on. ok i know she is feeling moodless and all now. but seriously i really hope she can be able to hold on. cause i know she can break down easily and i have seen it before. i really do not wish for it to happen. cause the last time i saw her broke down and me looking in the webcam and unable to do anything really make me feel useless and hurts me alittle somehow. I now just hope and pray that whatever she said on MSN will never ever happen. because if that really happens i do not know what will happen to her thou she said she cant be bothered and will not affect her. but when it becomes reality everything will be different and will sure to hit her hard. which i do not know how will she handle it. but still i hope nothing will happen to her. please stay strong....
and again saying all this i do not feel any pains and everything. am i really this cold hearted?? i do not know myself anymore....

well i guess certain things are happening around me in my life... and i seem so useless and everything. now knowing everything. but unable to do anything...i donno anymore....i'm lost in a mixture of cross-roads and feelings...

-Why am i faking all these to myself... seriouly i think i....-

2nd letter of rejection

2nd rejection came today.

from NTU this time

so now is 2 down and one last 1 to go. which actually i know the answer alrdy. but oh wells *shrugs*

humans

long day.

wanted to go for a jog. but weather wasnt good. gray clouds covered the sky the whole day. and did rained alittle in the afternoon. hope it wont rain tomorrow
Wonder is it me or wad. always being so careless. slight burn on my finger while cooking lunch. Thn slight cut on my lips for donno wad reason (suspecting due to my dry lips cracked. which has been dry for quite sometime).

Tired and lost of appitite recently donno why.
ultra warm weather recently. you! and you! and especially you! remember to drink more water!
tired. shall stop here.

-The truth is.......
can only hide the truth. wanting to say but cant. can only keep it to myself and let time tell and nature take its course-

iron man

drove the whole day yest. shant think abt it.

watced iron man yest. nice show. have a slight mix of comedy in the actions. and the technology was WAY COOL!!! i wish i have the guy system in my house. or have his house as my own. hahaha. well. overall is a nice show tat can be watched in the cinema.

And now 1 down 2 to go. got my first letter of rejection by NUS. and i highly doubt i will hear good news from the other 2 uni. haix sad. now i shall wait for the appeal dates to appeal and try again.

baby photos...

Today happen to open the cupboard that have all my families photos which we took in the past. and happen to see all my baby and young photos. hahaha
They definately do not look like me at all!! i dont see any resemblance of me at all!! haha. okey. well here are some pics which i find are nicer =p


I got the driver genes in me!


I too have the acrobatic genes in me. haha


Study genes??? nah don't think i have it


This explains why i love to sleep or laze in bed


Used to love taking photos. haha

go ahead and laugh if u want. coz i laughed too when i looked at them. haha. so enjoy=p